N9juhi.

That's what it looks like when I rest my face against my keys. It also happens to be what I'd like to type right about now, as I haven't slept. Last night, my Old Man was a little tipsy and kind of insulted me over some real petty stuff which put me in a sour mood. Everyone was really preoccupied with their games, so I threw myself a pity-party and went to bed early, only to wake up around 10:00 PM or so. Yet again ruining that Sleep Schedule. I'll stay up the rest of the day, though, and hopefully, it'll settle-out pretty well. Hopefully. Sometimes I sleep through my alarm if I've really done myself in staying up for the extra day.

Tenko fit me a bit of Playtime on Starcraft II. Parsee, Chen, Morichika, Tenko and I have been playing together. True to my older Wriggle handle, and to my childhood playtime in the original Starcraft, I decided I'd be playing Zerg. Everything's really pulsating, malignant, and fluid-laden when you play Zerg, and a lot of the Rush tactics with the Zerglings don't work so well, now. One ounce of Splash Damage and you're a goner. As such, I've grown really fond of Roaches. To sum a Roach Rush in a nutshell, I rape your units, and then I sleep underground before I do it again. This is actually carried out with much less force than you'd think, though, as I'm only slightly better than the computer, according to my Statistics..

Digressing, a good friend of mine - the little secret one who I'm dieting with - has been in the back of my head all week. They've been monitoring the progress of a particular trait of mine, though they've not named what it is, and said that there will come a time where I've outgrown them in that particular field, at which point I wouldn't need them anymore. All sorts of stupid things were running through my head: our utter anonymity with each-other, whether or not to ask what the specific trait is, the possibility of writing them once. It all was very frustrating and worrisome and I finally got a hold of them and got to spill what was on my mind. We promptly played Minecraft and remodeled my Church-thing. It wasn't some sky-rending catharsis, but everything's okay now, and my head's finally about twenty bricks lighter from all of it being satiated with a simple, "Hey, you worry too much".

I also got into an odd conversation about death. Maybe this isn't the place for such a morbid topic, but it was a pretty good conversation. What's the meaning of life, and all that? What is your goal as a living person? Don't you aspire for grand undertakings, even when you don't know what they are? What happens when you die? Do you lose your views? Are they put into the ground with you?

It was all really odd, and I ended up thinking it over. I think I'm just trying to make myself happy, and share the other half. I do things because they're necessary, so I can say I've done them, or because they're amusing. I guess I have a goal, and everything I try is a means to it. That's really all I suppose. And when I die, it'll be happy, with something I'd shared left behind for the people I shared it with. Nobody's original, we're a conglomerate of the people we've known, so I don't think I have to worry about my ideals dying. Somewhere, there's a kid going, "I remember this man who walked barefoot in the streets one rainy afternoon", or another going "Remember when that guy bought me Warheads and you were really weirded-out, mom?"
I don't know. Maybe they're not inheriting the way I think, but they're inheriting my actions. As for the way I think, I guess you're reading, so it's living through you if I were to suddenly go into Renal Failure or something. And if you were to die tomorrow? I probably would carry a bit of your thinking around in my head, and I'd pass it off to someone else in conversation, and lo and behold the proverbial ashes of your thoughts are scattered into the heads of the people I meet.

I don't know. Now I'm just getting convoluted and silly. It's probably this lack of sleep.

As for today's picture:

Mizuhashi Parsee: You know what would be perfect?
Mizuhashi Parsee: Drawing Unzan as a gun.
Mizuhashi Parsee: And calling it a gun.
Mizuhashi Parsee: It's a gun.
Mizuhashi Parsee: That punches people.
Mizuhashi Parsee: Err, a punch-gun.