That Old Photographer's Eye.

I had to break out my Photographer's Eye because it was a beautiful evening tonight. For the first time in a long time, I stood out in the rain as the thunder played off in the distance.

It wasn't just raining, though, the Moon was out.
Half-full and extraordinarily bright.
The porch was lit-up and I didn't have to flip a switch or strike a match.

I burned through the Government Class that I was dreading today. I met my quota on work despite being late for the first half of the lecture because I was checking in on the Vital System I was covering in Biomedicine. It's never as bad as you think it will be.

I still haven't picked up stamps, though. The woman who sells them said they were actually out, and I've run out of the cute ones that I got from the Shelter.

Really, though, Please keep expecting things.

Also the doodle: When matches begin in Killing Floor, people always go Sharpshooter, and then devastate a wave in thirty seconds, reloading all the while. Parsee and I, though?

We take out our knives and go Berserker.

Good Morning.

It's about 5:30 AM over here, which means I've just about finished my cup of coffee and am considering having a second - I've also eaten the other-half of a delightful sandwich I had for dinner last night. I've taken to eating lightly in the mornings, which, while keeping me more-functional than just-coffee, also makes my belly make some weird sounds in demand for more midways into classes as it demands more food, which I don't have until I get home, because I don't take a Lunch Break.

It's worse when I'm in the Gym, because before I'm home, my belly has likely done it's impression of a Chocobo ("Waaaark-!") while I was sprawled out for my Benches or something.

I've yet to get stamps. I'll pick some up today, or something. I always burn through them because they only come in sets of twelve, and I have to pay double-postage on the internationals. Still, I don't think I've mailed anything, other than Arzi's present, as of late, and that's frustrating. I'll definitely have something on it's way to you guys...

I take another round of College Government today.
I really, really hate it.
Moreover, I have to make a respectable presentation for Biomedicine. I had it all squared away, as did a few other students, but the instructor is selectively stricter on the guidelines for me, though I think it's because she sees the promise I've managed to show, or maybe as revenge for hanging around when everyone has left for lunch to try and know her better.

You can never go wrong with knowing your instructors and teachers. At least if something bad comes up, they know you better, too, and might be a little lenient with you because they know what was going on...

Anyways, I'm calling it good.

Also, you look like Yuko, sort of, Morichika.

Life is Peachy.

But not too much, really.

I just recycled most of a report about Thalidomide to save my ass in Biomedicine.

I made the Gyudon. It cost me a bit because of the cut of beef I used for it,
but it came out rather disappointing. I left out the Dashi and Shichimi I couldn't find, and really shouldn't have tried topping it with an egg. If I can find the Dashi and Shichimi at a specialty shop or something, I'll definitely try it again, though, seasoned and eggless.

Also, I found the most delightful postcard.
It is entitled "Hula-Hooping Habit", and features a headmistress nun doing just that - Hula-Hooping.
I think I might save it - I don't know who I'll send it to, but I'll find a target.

There really isn't all too much to say. College Government and Biomedicine is proving to be really difficult and time-consuming, which is why I'm around less and less. I'm sorry about that, guys.

I was trying to think of a good way to end-out, but I'm too busy eating these noodles (yes, in the morning.) and listening to Art Blakey. Plus, I want to publish - I wrote this out last night and didn't publish because I was tired, and it seems to have broken or something in the meantime.

Spaceman Stu.

I am Easily Inspired.

Of similar note, which I've just finished telling a friend about, This particular picture inspired me to learn to prepare curry.

The turmeric I used was so fine that it rose in the vapors and stained the inside collar of one of my nicer blouse-shirts yellow-orange.

I might try to make Gyudon...

Anyways, I digress.
Keeping it short, today.

Kumoi Story.

I've been playing a lot of Minecraft and, being a kind of unpopular character unless people are a fan of ZENI, I had to make my Own Skin. It came out kind of lousy. So did my attempt to make Pixel-Art of Misery from Cave Story.

I decided I'd play as Madotsuki for a bit instead.

Yume Nikki.

Cave Story.

Minecraft.

They're all really blocky and pixelated, so I wanted to try my hand at that sort of style. I opened up MSPaint, zoomed it in as far as it would go, made this, and then got into photoshop and enlarged the daylights out of it. It's Kumoi-Brace. Would you like to trade your Polar Star for my Fists?

I really like the little Unzan soft-serve tip at the top. It was accidental and came about while erasing some extra pink.
Also, I tried to draw it all in Photoshop, originally.
That's a terrible idea, don't do it. It'll chuck stray pixels everywhere.

Things are good. I'm still feeling invulnerable.
My secret-friend has declined my request for a postcard,
which had me a little deflated, but. But-!
We may be eating at an old-fashioned diner sometime in the near future.

I think this more than makes up for mail, though I'd like to get them something for their birthday all the same. Tom and I share a birthday, and Secret-Friend's is just around the corner. I've got a little bit of dough set aside for gifts - about $50, so not anything absurdly generous - but I'd like to hook both of them up all the same.

Invulnerability.

I'm expecting mail.

I made a call or two and, now that I'm expecting mail, life's a breeze.

Can't sweat me, coffee.

I am once again invincible.

I am Dover Castle.

Losing Steam.

I've a riddle for you:
Who's attended law-school and shares my diet?

I've been full of so much coffee that I'm convinced it's the only thing keeping me alive at this point. I have blood in my coffeestream. I could probably give you a caffeine headache by touch. My soul is double-brewed.

I've not been eating too well, either. Some pizza last night was probably the cornerstone of my week. The rest amounted to some crackers and a halved sandwich.

I haven't really wanted to eat, though. Just sleep.
I'm really just getting kind of sad, because I can't even do that.
People are hitting me up for the contents of my desk and closet at 9:00, and I'm left wide-awake and pouring yet another pot of coffee into myself to get by.
I have all these postcards left, and they make me mope.
I have "I Want Your Love" on, and it makes me mope.
I have a full pot of coffee upstairs for tomorrow, and it makes me mope.

Aaron, Secret-Friend and my Dan Kim Blanket are the only thing keeping me from just breaking that damned coffee-pot and going to bed angry.

All that aside, that birthday's soon.
I'm going to try and see if I can get a few more postcards to frame out of it.

Also, I've joined a Weightlifting Course.
I don't plan on being one of those football sorts who go around slapping their own Pecs but I'd like to be one of those, "I have a rewarding physique" sorts.

I'd like someone to be awful pleased when they get my shirt off, not to remark that they could probably play the xylophone off my ribs if not for my broad shoulders...

We'll see how that goes.

Canceled.

I think it's safe to say "No" on Canada.
I'll keep my opportunities in Michigan and New York.

I was looking into the new Scholarships course I've enrolled in as a way to establish a strong presence in Canada so that I wouldn't sweat any lost opportunities when I made the move, however, in light of recent events, it's probably best to fold my proverbial hand and cut my losses.

I spoke with my mentor-sort and they agreed with that.
Something about having heard their opinion on that solidified it and I think I'm good.

It may sound stupid, or like it's over a game.

It's not over a game, it's over two years worth of claims that I've been a puppet.
It's over lies.
And not only lies, but lies to win-over someone I'm practically in competition with.
It's over hypocrisy.

For the first time in two years, you can call it loot.

The Fragrance of Dark Coffee.

So Canada is either canceled or postponed indefinitely. I guess I don't really mind - the other half of the equation didn't seem too terribly hurt, though I think we were both very disappointed. The only real trouble is I'm looking ahead and see that now there's nothing for me to work so hard for, save for myself.

I don't know what that's like - I've always had a goal other than my own benefit. I've never worked really hard for myself, any benefit's just kind of been a fortunate side-effect. I hope I don't lose my edge now that it's just me...

I'm getting all dolled up for registration due to this portrait of John F. Kennedy. Just going to go in with my suit, I suppose. This means my birthday's just a little over three weeks away - I'm mildly excited because it means I'll be allowed to sign the injury-waivers that are presumably keeping me from employment, which means I can make a quick buck or two before I head for Syracuse and get everything squared away from there.

A neat thing is, it'd seem my secret friend and I will be rather close when I hit Syracuse. Perhaps I can meet them for something? I'm not planning anything until I get there, though. The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

I finally got the cat urine out of my bed, and can now sleep easy in my room, as opposed to the floor or the empty room upstairs. I purchased some coffee in preparation for tomorrow, and I plan to drink it black, without the shotglass of Milk I usually enjoy with it.
I've been doing a lot of work and such in preparation, and have enjoyed the Turnabout Jazz Soul cover of "The Fragrance of Dark Coffee" to it all, so I'm on a bit of a Godot kick.

I've recently taken up Minecraft's single-player. I'm terrible at it, and after building myself a shelter looking akin to a Iroquois Longhouse, I set out to gather wood for crafting and building only to be stuck full of arrows and die. I plan to gather up a lot of Mushroom Stew and Bread for the sole purpose of religious jokes: Islam forbids Pork and Buddhism encourages a vegetarian diet, so whatever religious prod you make at me, I'm spoken for. My map is a nice, snowy one. I like it because it makes me think of the Snow Realm where you meet the Yuki-Onna in Yume Nikki.

Planning on returning to a nice morning routine. It should be easier now that I've got my sleeping under control.

Also gave Jennifer a long overdue call. She's doing well, and she says she'll let me write her postcards after I move, due to my staunch refusal to use Facebook. Yet again, she offered me to accompany her Friday Night round of Dungeons and Dragons. I may take her up on it. I'm not certain - I've always been hesitant to cement my geekiness into tangibility by giving Pen-and-Paper a whirl, but she's a swell friend, so I may have to take her up on it at least once before I pack my bags.

Wish I had more to say, and I probably do, but I've got more things to take care of and plan.

Damned.

I am become Regret, Dampener of Moods.

I'd been waiting to enjoy Secret-Friend's company for quite some time, and we'd resolved to play Minecraft with Eiki on Fujiwara's freshly-reset server. We've lost the underground castle we were building, but Eiki proposed a new idea: this massive, all-consuming tower that people could build inside, like those Russian Matryoshkas: buildings within buildings - a "Self-Contained City".
It required a lot of climbing to the very top of the map, and then plummeting off to get to the next tile. I usually enjoy heights and such, but something about how everything blurred when I fell was disorienting, and I ended up doing it several more times. Walking on flat ground, I felt my screen start to tip and didn't feel so hot...

I decided I'd rest-up with a glass of water, but when I went to go up the stairs, I emptied my belly on the steps.

It felt like a real waste, because I ended up telling Liam and Secret-Friend goodnight, and I've been really enjoying their company. Worse yet, I bailed out of Eiki's project.

Yet worse still, I ended up going to bed early, and woke up at 3:00 AM.
I really hope I've not thrown a wrench into my sleeping schedule again...

I started drawing Unzan on a post-it. It looked a lot better on the post-it because I'm pretty nifty with an pencil or a pen, though my pencilwork is really sketchy. It looks something like that doodle. Only with detail, and scribbly lines, and other neat stuff that isn't there.

Also, I kind of miss RP-Chat.
I've been writing down these little ideas and quirks for character, and I don't
get to use them at all, because lately, most of the roleplay I've been hit-up for is "Kiss me, I'm cute-!" and there's little room for, "So there's slight boredom with Temple Living", mention of the Lottery, or emery-boards.
Nevertheless, I'm not likely to return to chat.
I'll just keep waiting for an opportunity.

Good People.

This is the secret friend I'd mentioned a few times. We discussed eggplant pizza, romance, exchanged 'Hoo~'s and asked odd questions. They used to be a carpenter, once upon a time. They're a good person.

Good people have been a fixture of the past week.

I got to speak with one I hadn't spoken to over a phone in quite some time.
While it was cut short by a request to clean, it was possibly the highlight to my day if not my week. There are few things nicer than that. They're a pretty good person.

On the other hand, I think Aaron's shying away from me. I may have hurt some feelings. I intend to call and point some finger or call some names, or do some something about it. What that "Something" is, I'm not certain, but it'll happen.
Aaron's a good person, too.

...One or two of you are going, "So that's the secret friend. I know who that is."
Damn you for being observant.

Woke up at 4:00 AM.
Leveled Commando to Three.
Fixed my ugly Minecraft Skin best I could.
Oh, and there are groceries. I ❤'d

N9juhi.

That's what it looks like when I rest my face against my keys. It also happens to be what I'd like to type right about now, as I haven't slept. Last night, my Old Man was a little tipsy and kind of insulted me over some real petty stuff which put me in a sour mood. Everyone was really preoccupied with their games, so I threw myself a pity-party and went to bed early, only to wake up around 10:00 PM or so. Yet again ruining that Sleep Schedule. I'll stay up the rest of the day, though, and hopefully, it'll settle-out pretty well. Hopefully. Sometimes I sleep through my alarm if I've really done myself in staying up for the extra day.

Tenko fit me a bit of Playtime on Starcraft II. Parsee, Chen, Morichika, Tenko and I have been playing together. True to my older Wriggle handle, and to my childhood playtime in the original Starcraft, I decided I'd be playing Zerg. Everything's really pulsating, malignant, and fluid-laden when you play Zerg, and a lot of the Rush tactics with the Zerglings don't work so well, now. One ounce of Splash Damage and you're a goner. As such, I've grown really fond of Roaches. To sum a Roach Rush in a nutshell, I rape your units, and then I sleep underground before I do it again. This is actually carried out with much less force than you'd think, though, as I'm only slightly better than the computer, according to my Statistics..

Digressing, a good friend of mine - the little secret one who I'm dieting with - has been in the back of my head all week. They've been monitoring the progress of a particular trait of mine, though they've not named what it is, and said that there will come a time where I've outgrown them in that particular field, at which point I wouldn't need them anymore. All sorts of stupid things were running through my head: our utter anonymity with each-other, whether or not to ask what the specific trait is, the possibility of writing them once. It all was very frustrating and worrisome and I finally got a hold of them and got to spill what was on my mind. We promptly played Minecraft and remodeled my Church-thing. It wasn't some sky-rending catharsis, but everything's okay now, and my head's finally about twenty bricks lighter from all of it being satiated with a simple, "Hey, you worry too much".

I also got into an odd conversation about death. Maybe this isn't the place for such a morbid topic, but it was a pretty good conversation. What's the meaning of life, and all that? What is your goal as a living person? Don't you aspire for grand undertakings, even when you don't know what they are? What happens when you die? Do you lose your views? Are they put into the ground with you?

It was all really odd, and I ended up thinking it over. I think I'm just trying to make myself happy, and share the other half. I do things because they're necessary, so I can say I've done them, or because they're amusing. I guess I have a goal, and everything I try is a means to it. That's really all I suppose. And when I die, it'll be happy, with something I'd shared left behind for the people I shared it with. Nobody's original, we're a conglomerate of the people we've known, so I don't think I have to worry about my ideals dying. Somewhere, there's a kid going, "I remember this man who walked barefoot in the streets one rainy afternoon", or another going "Remember when that guy bought me Warheads and you were really weirded-out, mom?"
I don't know. Maybe they're not inheriting the way I think, but they're inheriting my actions. As for the way I think, I guess you're reading, so it's living through you if I were to suddenly go into Renal Failure or something. And if you were to die tomorrow? I probably would carry a bit of your thinking around in my head, and I'd pass it off to someone else in conversation, and lo and behold the proverbial ashes of your thoughts are scattered into the heads of the people I meet.

I don't know. Now I'm just getting convoluted and silly. It's probably this lack of sleep.

As for today's picture:

Mizuhashi Parsee: You know what would be perfect?
Mizuhashi Parsee: Drawing Unzan as a gun.
Mizuhashi Parsee: And calling it a gun.
Mizuhashi Parsee: It's a gun.
Mizuhashi Parsee: That punches people.
Mizuhashi Parsee: Err, a punch-gun.

Oh Boy, Do I Have A Tale for You.

Alright, it's been awhile since I had an honest to goodness update, and that's because, well, a lot of stuff been going on, and I've been busy tossing it about and dealing with it all. It's been a pretty crazy scenario, all in all, and I'm going to tell you about most of it, if not all of it.

First off, we're getting the stuff squared away for my International Diploma to Canada. I put on my suit and barged into the a little meeting between the TAG-Service people I've met - that is, "Talented And Gifted". I sat down to discuss Letters of Recommendation with Freiling, Early, and found Lawrence Pilgram to be well-retired. If I want to get one out of him, I'll have to call him up. However, with his extensive history in Academics and Teaching, and our shared love of bad jokes, I think I may be able to get it all the same - Pilgram, if you don't recall, is the odd one who had me lower my bare arm into electrified saline for a demonstration. All that's squared away, and while I'm cocksure of myself because I've gotten all this squared away myself and oddly not much for religious stock, I have taken a bit of it to heart, after an odd discussion from by parents about having to raise me as teens. They said, in addition to all that, that people tend to write Teen Pregnancies off as some sort of failure before anything happens, and that everyone was doubting me as I was born premature, so they're very pleased for me to be, well, kind of self-made. It was an odd discussion that ate up half my day while they sat on the porch with cigarettes and tea.

Despite classes and this new tutoring gig I've picked up on the side to earn a bit of extra college recognition, I also see a job in the future. The guy at Ryan's has given me his word that he'll hire me for my persistence and patience, having showed up repeatedly, and waited the upwards of an hour for an interview on one occasion, so long as I come back September. I won't have too terribly long to work, seeing as we're still going to Syracuse before I strike off for Saskatchewan, but I figure, "Hey, I've got his word and money's money," so I think I'm going to take what I can get.

Remi's Old Man died. I'm not sure what from, but they did perform an autopsy. You just don't ask "Hey! What'd your dad die from?" so, well, I'm not going to have much to say on that specific part. Remi's pretty old, though, so at least they've had some time together. He was out with his extended family, and his family-family has decided to come back from vacation early on the grounds that it's a Family Emergency. Give him some encouragement or cheer-up, if you'd like - He's got a Blog of his own and that's probably the best place to put it.

My mop's been chopped, and I'm now sporting my signature bobcut. That won't be for too terribly long, it'd seem, though. A good friend of mine, Dez, has asked to cut my hair for practice - she wants to be a stylist and has been doing hair for quite some time, and while I'm still a little leery about letting someone who operates out their friend's car with a pair of scissors cut around my head, I figured this is my last full year in Missouri and possibly the United States, so what do I have to lose?
She was ecstatic and now I'm penciled-in for "Whenever that damned bobcut's gone."

I'm now on a sort of weird diet, too.
I have a very secretive and anonymous friend who I've known for a bit over a year, and they've decided to undertake some rather odd eating habits, halving all their servings and drinking water while exercising sporadically. I don't know what compelled me, perhaps because they're a bit of a mentor in a weird way, but I've decided to join them. I've still got to be careful though - I want to be able to donate blood on the eleventh.

Some odd things kind of reared their head in my personal life, too.
I think, however, it can be summed up with This Comic
In short, I'm Canada-bound, and while I know it's not foolproof, it kind of puts a wrench into an old, great friend's warming heart.

I also got into a silly scrap with Alex. He ended up tearing my postcards in a half 'n half fit of anger and exhaustion, but we made up afterwords. I kind of mentioned it while sitting with my parents and their cigarettes and tea, and I was told something odd. In a nutshell, it was "You can always mail more crap to them. You can't, however, get another one of this specific person to mail things to. So what if they destroyed some paper, at least they didn't destroy what the two of you have."

...That's an awful big nutshell.

Anyways, it's been kind of a busy deal, if you can't tell.
There's a lot going on.
That said, it's mildly refreshing, though I can't help but feel I've
been missing out on a few people because of it all.

All in all, this are fast-moving and pretty good.

Today's picture looked a little better before some odd stuff happened with the face.
Yeah, I don't know. I may try something outside of my pencil tools next time - I've been drawing some inspiration from this odd doodle of Dorei and want to try my hand at some paint-chattish work.