A Grateful Existence in an Anxious World (Finished)

While  at Church today, Ken Lang explained how to live a grateful existence in an anxious world.
It had a lot to do with facing challenges and accepting the outcomes regardless.
It had a lot to do with writing people letters and communicating on a personal level.
It had a lot to do with being fair and kind, and it concluded with something of a challenge in itself:
"I could go around the Service today," he said. "And ask all of you what's important, and I'm willing to bet we all have twenty or thirty things in common that we agree we should be thankful for. But can you make a list of one-hundred? Can you exercise your thankfulness like that?"

I have decided I can. And I've decided I'm going to. And I'm not going to cheat and break it down into listing off friends, which would make this a very simple task. I'm  going to give my thermostat a good twisting, and I'm going to mean it. Here I go:

1. I am thankful for my friends. Let's get this out of the way, first, so I cripple myself to try off the bat. You've all enlightened me to facets of who I am, and really shaped who I've come to be as well. I think it's like Ray Bradbury said - you've all gotten your fingers in my clay. I know I wouldn't be here without you.
2. I'm grateful for my family. As of late, I've been retreating from them and sinking into reclusion as a product of their leeriness about my romantic endeavors, but at the end of the day? They've raised me, and they've done a good job at it. They have their problems as any family does - families are all unhappy in different ways, to poorly quote Fyordor Dostoyevsky - but they don't define them, as I often think they do. I have a family, and I have a good one with people who have guided me and not ruled-over me. For the most part.
3. I'm thankful for Leigh. You're my lover, you're my strength in the unknown, and my willingness to stride headlong into things I am uncomfortable with. You make me shrug-off torn ligaments with the sheer wonder of your person. I'm so glad to be with you on your birthday, because while I know it's not a huge deal for you, or so you say, to me it's celebrating an anniversary of you existing, and I can't think of many causes for elation that rival that.
4. I'm thankful for Faith. I've come a long way to say that. I lived a bitter life for a good deal of time - a very pragmatic, Randian one - and it's arguably through silly coincidences involving Touhou Project and my relationship with Emily, a Spiritualist and Occultist pairing up with failed attempts to indoctrinate me with religion when I was small that really made it possible for me to. If you humor the prospect of being a nun long enough, you'll quickly find yourself happier and more-thankful, and just a bit more eager to be involved with things that help others, regardless of the religious tag you wear while doing so. And eventually, you might even like that tag.
   
   
5. I am thankful for my body. I have torn the ligaments in my right foot picking up a paycheck in the snow, but I have my legs. I am in good health. I am reasonably attractive with a thing or two I like about myself between it all. And I'm well enough to qualify for military service, which is a whole new opportunity of its own.
6. I am thankful for my job. It's hard work, it pays little, and I think my hours are ballparked on occasion, because I can't guess why I consistently get a $150 paycheck when I really bust my ass for long hours on some weeks, and seem to have it easier on others. But it's work. And I am glad to do it. I'm glad to be caught up. I'm glad to have a reference, and a very good one at that, if I should need to work oncemore. And I feel accomplished looking on completed homes and rooms, and knowing I've been the sole hand finishing them.
    
7. I'm thankful for my country. While it's easy to get angry at the politically uninformed, and the bigots, and the frivolous lawsuits, and the obesity, and just about anything really? It's a country founded on the notion that you can create industries and succeed. That you can work and be anywhere you want, a self-made man like Carnegie or Rockefeller. It's a place of pride, where people band together in times of hardship to overcome adversity. It's a place where I can see the Navy's slogan, "A Global Force for Good," and believe it and be proud to be part of it. It's a place I am proud to call home.
    
8. I am thankful for the patience of those around me. There is a lot of time I spend working. A lot of time I spend planning. There's simply a lot of time I spend, and it feels great not to be admonished or pushed-away because I'm busy. Because I'm trying. Because I'm willing to commit to things.
    
9. I'm thankful for music. It gets me through some of the harder points of my day. Of two pairs of headphones, two have died. My Mp3 player has finally bitten the dust. But I find I can still whistle, and I love whistling while I paint. I love singing while I work. I'm glad to have shared small instances of my poor singing with Claire as lullabies, and for a voice to join others in praise, protest, cadence, and every other cry that embodies my ideals.
10. I'm thankful for stories, and the people who tell them. For Onni, who crafted adventure and romance with each shift of his fingertips. For Leigh, who spins drama, politics, humor, and war between Heaven and Hell. For Emily, who carries the stories of Zos Kia Cultus and the almost Richard Upton Pickman eccentricities of his existence and spins them spiritedly. For Ray Bradbury and Dostoyevsky for giving me words I couldn't thought of on my own, and for Diogenes for laughing at me when I realize I have to borrow words.
11. I am thankful for coffee. There's so much wrong with my lifestyle. I don't eat enough. I don't get enough water anymore. I travel far too much on foot, and I feel a bit like Nikola Tesla when I read about him casually walking ten miles for work. I'm glad that something's there to push me when I can't get out of bed. When my mind is pinwheeling in excitement but my body is at a stand-still.
12. I'm thankful for Technology. Without the world-shrinking joys of Computers and Phones, I'd be very estranged from a lot of concepts and ideas, and most certainly I'd have turned-out quite differently.
13. I'm thankful for my ability to cook. I absolutely love cooking. I love watching peoples' faces lighting up as they taste something new, or making something particularly pretty and taking it out. I love being able to convey my affections with baked goods and handmade chocolates. It's a medium for communication and love, and I'm thankful it's available to me.
14. I'm thankful for Objectivism. It kicked me square in the butt when I needed it in Highschool. I'm not the greatest of subscribers to it and readily I do a lot of things that likely make Rand squirm in her grave, but it has given me an attitude, if not an agenda always, that helps me get what I need to do done.
15. I am grateful for my senses, none of which are in particular jeopardy, and all of which allow me to taste the lovely things of the world in different ways.
16. I am thankful for forgiveness. I am so imperfect. I stumble so readily. Friends, Lovers, God - thank you for your forgiveness when I fall short.
17. I am thankful for the Teachers I've had: Jennifer Kryzkowski. Donald Skari. Bill Irmen. Derek Frieling. Chris Early. Even the ones I don't think did right by me like Gellner, because without a terrible experience, I wouldn't know a good one if I'd seen it. Thank you giving me the sympathy and understanding I didn't get from friends in Highschool without any of the cluttersome drinking, sex, gossip, and petty things that come with youth.
18. I'm thankful for humor and jokes. Mine tend to be more infamous than loved because Puns are sort of the Mullet of the joke-world. So bad they're actually laughable. Jokes have helped me bridge so many awkward scenarios, express things I didn't know how to, and cheer people up when they were down.
19. I'm thankful for a hectic lifestyle. If I weren't persistently bounding from left to right, I might have time to fold my sheets in the morning, but I don't expect that I'd be as accomplished or happy, either.
20. I'm thankful for a world that lets me enjoy a million different flavors of bizarre soda, and write about it like an utter nerd, and better yet, to share my bizarre beverages with the world via post.
21. I am thankful to be absolutely finished with that restroom I'd been hired to paint.
22. I am thankful for Classes and the fact that Leigh attends them. I will be so elated to see what doors open for her in the wake of her courses completion.
23. I am thankful for Multivitamins, without which I would never fulfill a daily intake requirement of anything.
24. I am not thankful for the shooting pain in my left jaw, but I am very thankful that there exists dentistry to correct it, even though I must wait three months and correct it with my Military Benefits.
25. I am thankful for art. Be it beautiful wine-bottle figures painted by Mucha, or romance cascading into geometry by Klimt, or pinned-up sketches by Leigh, or the calligraphy Onni gave me before his passing, it is all beautiful and timeless and so ripe with meaning and emotion.
26. I am thankful for my new ship-date and a Recruiting Officer patient enough to give me it.
27. I am thankful for the second wind I've gotten with regard to getting prepped for service.
28. I am thankful for the rain having stopped long enough for me to cycle to the gym today.
29. I'm thankful for the ease with which I can share music with Leigh - the only other person I can do that with is probably Ana.
30. I am thankful for the social commentary of Scroobius Pip, and for Ana who introduced us.
31. I am thankful for the concepts of cool monsters, like Mimics, and Dullahan, and Cockatrices, Mandragoras, and creepy murderous Freya Cults, and whatever the hell a Chepet is.
32. I am thankful Delta Airlines didn't lose my luggage.
33. I'm thankful for artists and inspirations who talk to their fans, like Yosu and Brian Lee.
34. I am thankful for explanation and instruction, and the people who give them.
35. I am thankful for the ability to form my own conclusions and opinions in the absence of situations that require training.
36. I am thankful for the terrible haircut I've just received - at least it doesn't grow like this naturally.
37. I'm thankful for the extra five pounds I've somehow gained in the sincere hope that it's muscle.
38. I am thankful for Carried Away scented lotion. What a nostalgic scent.
39. I am thankful for service deadlines. I know you're a temporary career, Military.
40. I am thankful for the position I am in to save other animals: big or small.
41. I am thankful for shoes with support for my feet.
42. I am thankful for the incoming winter chill and the fact that it keeps me from overheating.
43. I am thankful for my ability to withdraw from people who are eager to make mistakes for sake of making mistakes.
44. I am thankful for my ability to plunge headlong into things and make mistakes for sake of trial and error.
45. I'm thankful for silly 8-bit tunes and the dream in my head of one-day turning this Blog into a silly pixelated Gameboy looking page. If only I knew what I were doing.
46. I am thankful for bottlecaps, and their unique ability to be readily fashioned into pins.
47. I am thankful for massage oil, and the impromptu masseuse-training I was given.
48. I am thankful for Willett Falls.
49. I am thankful for fairly respectable stamina.
50. I am thankful for the safety-pin that holds my headphones together.
51. I am thankful for your continued patience as a reader.
52. I am thankful for Berserker and the fact that it makes playing games with me fun again.
53. I am thankful for the snowfall that has finally hit New York like a sack of bricks.
54. I am thankful for the shower I am about to take, and how good and warm it will feel.
55. I am not thankful for busting my ass going down the driveway, but I am thankful for the prompt cry of "Aaah, motherfuck!" that made people laugh.
56. I am thankful for the They Bleed Pixels soundtrack, for narrating my life with its just-barely-noticeable presence and groove.
57. I am thankful for Ponycorns and OrangeBoy.
58. I am thankful for good parenting and other things that warrant Ponycorns.
59. I'm thankful that I have to go into work today; I feel a bit lazy.
60. I am thankful for my blanket cocoon, which held hands with the open-windowed snowfall to make the comfiest sleep I've had since leaving Cullman.
61. I am thankful for Gross Internet Articles and Leigh's knowledge of them. I'm never drinking another Pepsi, and it helps me slim-down, I'm certain.
62. I'm thankful for Hardblush. My Gay-Quota is totally filled.
63. I am thankful for moderation. I'd feel pretty gross reading Furry stuff otherwise.
64. I am thankful for the Furry Community. Although you guys get a bad rap, your comics, Music (Hell yes, Lapfox Trax) and tolerance for each-other is pretty great. Just don't force it on people.
65. I am thankful for old friends who don't find the prospect of me with my head shaved gross.
66. I am thankful for my deceased friend's mother, Iris, and the Christmas Book she'd sent me.
67. I am thankful for Onni. Still.
68. I am thankful for my atomic wristwatch.
69. I am thankful for Onikobe Rin, and he'll never even know.
70. I am thankful for employers who bring you Blueberry Buckle in exchange for half your cheesecake.
71. I am thankful for little sisters who eat the entirety of said Blueberry Buckle. I won't have them long.
72. I am thankful for the appreciation of an art-style different from a lot of other things.
73. I am thankful for tiny plug-in mice, and an employer who gives out boxes like cheap cigars.
74. I am thankful for belts and gloves.
75. I am thankful for a City that pays to have roads shoveled, and that time a snow-plough almost hit me, but narrowly missed. That's some divine favor.
76. I am thankful for the DEP Meeting I just remembered I had today.
77. I am thankful for neat-sounding French things.
78. I am thankful for Sister Eileen.
79. I am thankful for the letters and memories that line my walls.
80. I am thankful for Venice, and Chernobyl, and kaZantip.
81. I am thankful for Napoleon. God, I love you, dude. It took 1:00 AM with an eyedropper, but I'm glad you're here.
82. I am thankful for the approval of the Akers family.
83. I am thankful for the Gibeon Meteorite.
84. I am thankful for shemaghs and Lolita Lempicka, and how they make my absence not so jarring.
85. I am thankful for Goya, and Muncheros, and Jarritos. And Maine Root, too.
86. I am thankful for Delta, even though they're notorious for losing luggage and delays.
87. I am thankful for Saint Astraea and Garl Vinland, and Emily for having introduced us.
88. I am thankful for pocketed boxers, and the fact that they let me saunter around the house undressed.
89. I am thankful for lucky boxers, for always getting me through things, and to Leigh for actually wearing them.
90. I am thankful for Radium, and Cherenkov Radiation, and Spaghettification, and Quasars, and all other things beautiful and scientific.
91. I am thankful for the torn ligament in my foot healing without medical intervention.
92. I am thankful for work-out shoes, and work-shoes, and casual shoes. Three pairs is amazing.
93. I am thankful for Catholic Newspapers, Tape, and my Paper-Cutter. You get me through custom postcards, gift-wrapping, and every other form of 'Hello'.
94. I am thankful for my return to a proper sleep-schedule and meeting my daily need for water-intake.
95. I am thankful for cool deaf neighbors that still remember me.
96. I am thankful for the guys who worked Christmas, that's why I baked them cookies.
97. I am thankful for the cerulean sparkly nail polish on my toes, and the fact that it hasn't chipped.
98. I am thankful for hot water. My sink recently broke, and having to wash everything in freezing water barehanded really makes you appreciate it.
99. I am thankful for my cellphone. It can only call one person, and all the features are locked on "INITIALIZING," but it calls the only person I need it to.
100. I'm thankful for the fact that I've finished, and Ken Lang for making me do this, and Cavalry Chapel for making me a part of their Service.
     
     
     THANK YOU.