I Didn't Sleep Well.

My little sister and I often have differing tastes. She's very much the social person and she enjoys taking the spotlight on things, whereas I typically wind up being the, "I'll handle it." quiet leader of Projects and Schedules. She can't cook beyond (and is content to live off) baked potatoes or EZ-Mac, where as I can fold Gyoza to try and impress people I hope to room with, someday. However, we found like ground about a year and a half ago when she sat me down on her bed to show me a bunch of odd, scribbly cartoons on her laptop: they were by a man named Levni Yilmaz, and called "Tales of Mere Existence". One I remember very distinctly was called "Horny", where he relays all the things he finds arousing, before abruptly cutting off with "I don't want to talk about this anymore, because I'm unbelievably fucking horny".

I wanted to do what Levni did, so I sat back with my Reporter's Pad and I started doodling, though I don't have access to a scanner here in Government. I feel a little like Liam without having the doodles for each one up, and just listing off things that get me off. No offense, Chief.

Here goes:

When I see someone with tan lines, and their skintone lightens a few shades under their shirt, I get kind of horny.

When I sit in bed wearing my over-sized button down shirt as pajamas, I wonder what someone would do if they were lying beside me, and that gets me kind of horny.

Sometimes, I think of Francisco d'Anconia and Hank Rearden, and the prospect of being a Conquest, and that gets me kind of horny.

I imagine cooking breakfast in my Pajamas and someone sneaking up and grabbing me while I cook, like in the lousy Doujins, and while that's a total fire hazard, I get pretty horny.

The little gap between the head and shaft of a penis gets me kind of horny.

The way the skin moves on an uncircumcised penis gets me kind of horny.

Tissues lying around after someone has finished servicing themselves gets me kind of horny.

The prospect of catching someone masturbating, and helping them finish gets me kind of horny.

The thought of someone resting their feet upon my shoulders gets me really horny.

Kissing someone's bare back or neck gets me sort of horny.

Catering sheepishly to someone's fetishes makes me awful horny.

I didn't sleep well last night - I was unbelievably horny.