Snow, Snow, Sun.

Watching the weather here has been a lot like watching a child who doesn't know who they want to get out in a game of Duck, Duck, Goose.

"Snow, Snow, Snow, Snow, Snow...Uhm, Snow, Snow, Snow, Snow, Snow, Sun!"

I've been snowed in for five days and only now has the snow let up enough to actually attend a class. My days consisted of writing mail, shoveling, working out, shoveling, and then cleaning. It was a really dull affair, and I popped into Steam twice or so to break the monotony. Everyone seems to be doing pretty well; everyone's getting my mail, with the exception of Strongest. I think that the German postal system's out to get me, because I've been writing everything extremely careful, but neither postcard has gotten there.

Valentine's Day's coming, so I've mailed out a big shipment of Cucumber Soda and Chocolates. Be sure that, if you get them both, you don't eat the Chocolates before you Kapapa it up. Cucumber is a very light and dainty little flavor, and I worry the chocolates might totally overpower it...

To a few of you, overseas, I'll give you your Customs Forms, because I'm worried the mail might not get there; I don't trust anyone from Saint Joseph to spell "Mönchengladbach" correctly:

Brando - Customs Form#: LC011615478US

Meiling - Customs Form#: LC011615481US

Parsee - Customs Form#: LC001615455US

Okuun - Customs Form#: LC011615495US

Cirno - Customs Form#: LC001615455US

Everyone else, I'm really sorry, but they didn't give me a Postal Code to track the package because it was Domestic.

I got my issue of Johnny Wander in the mail - It's all the comics I've painstakingly archived in dead-tree format, with all sorts of little goodies that I adore: A recipe for Dream Curry, How to sew a Heat-Pad for Sore Muscles, a Diagram of Spacklehaus, and all sorts of other delights. I think I'm going to bust out my needle and thread, and sacrifice my brown headscarf to make a lovely heating-pad - that seems like just the hand-made, personal gift to win someone over.

...Maybe not the brown one - I think that has some sort of weird polyurethane in it, and it'd be a shame to say, "You're a delightful person - put this on!" and have it stick to someone's neck because they heated it up.
Maybe I'll just-...
I'll find something.

Oh, about the Cardboard Notebook: I've been taking all the stuff that would normally go here, and writing it into a little brown cardboard notebook. There's a lot of Murasa and Ichirin doodles in there. I'll see if I can get them up somehow. Maybe I'll try to redraw them in Paint?
There's:

"SEX - HOT, CASUAL SEX".
"Me on the Phone with Aaron at 1:00 AM."
"Kite"
"Pious Work, Work, Work"
"FOR LATVIA!"
"My Floating Lighthouse, and the Costa del Sol Torch-Tower"
"Ichirin is: Mister Blonde"
"Unzan is: Mister Pink"
"Snowed In"
"Three Weeks Fapless"
"Brine Maiden"
"Shit..."
"College Government - Persian Rug Pattern"
"Anemone"
" 'FUKKEN MASTERPIECE' - Captain Murasa paints a Sword"
"I MADE YOUR FAVORITE - PAAAN-CAAAAKES!"
"Captain Murasa is: Tyler Durden"
" 'I wish I played Newearth' - Ichirin is: Gauntlet"

I'll handle it all later - I need to down another cup of Coffee and to get my Vitamin C fix - I'm getting kind of sick, I think, but after five days snowed in, I can't complain and it's nice to actually get out beyond going to the post-office or Library.

Excerpts from the Cardboard Notebook.

01/01/2011-----
I woke up thinking about the concept of "Negativity" - in my Psychology course, I'd learned that children will sometimes say "No", even to things they enjoy simply to feel as if they have a choice in the matter. I think that's why I'm cleaning everything today. My lazy ass has to feel as if I have some sort of mastery, and that's why I'm in this state of joyous negativism as I clean.
Words of encouragement from Ayn Rand today:
"Great men can't be ruled".
"The question isn't who's going to let me, but who's going to stop me."
"But I don't think of you."

A Letter to Matt Griffith: 01/05/2011 -----

Dear Matt,

Remember when you looked out at that classroom full of people I said were candidates for teen pregnancy and a career bagging my groceries? You almost cried as you said, "That was me a few years ago. How did I manage to grow past all that? It's a miracle I turned out the way I did". I'm a shameless romantic, and to be honest, I'd thought about asking you to kiss me right there, so that I would at least know what it's like. I worry for you - that's all I can say. I often wonder when you'll cross the line and say the wrong thing to some super-conservative fundamentalist and they'll raise a boot and kick you right off the path of your delightful career. I worry you'll get too comfortable, and maybe you already are. Be careful - if I am in fact the kissing material I'd like to think of myself as, Teacher, I'd have some sort of loving obligation to speak my concerns and not let my self wonder if you could be helped had I just said something.

01/09/2011 -----
I just bought this little girl in the hospital a box of chocolates. I lost ten bucks on it, but I've got the $430 I've still banked, so I don't feel too guilty about it. Aaron didn't like Nice Guy Eddie, and I guess that killed Reservoir Dogs for him; I was so disappointed. Damn it, Nice Guy, why'd you have to be so vain and cool?
Also, Mister Blonde.

01/13/2011 -----
The Snow has subsided a little, but today it was so cold that my mitts didn't save me from getting chilblains. I've got to call Aaron tonight - I didn't call last night. I've been thinking about Sparrow this morning, too. He's really grand, and it's been a month since we've spoken. Why doesn't he ever call? I'm getting kind of lonely.
What do you call Murasa dressed as a Miko?
A brine maiden.

01/14/2011 -----
I talked to Matt the Teacher again. He said something pretty profound: "I'm seeing a pattern with all the guys you like", he says. "Liam, Aaron, Sparrow - they've all got a thing in common, when you get frustrated. You."
He said that I'm the sort of person who wants to be needed. That I want to help people so much that they can't possibly get by without me. I want to be indebted to. He said I have to be careful about this, because I'll be "easily taken advantage of by people I want to bone".
Isn't everyone easily taken advantage of by people like that?
I guess I've always thought that compromise was one of the perks people get to hold over my nose when I'm attracted to them. Maybe we should all be more like Hank Rearden.

01/16/2011 -----
I went to a party today. I was really out of my element. Things like that have never been my forte, but I was the only guy who wasn't from a church who showed up to the shindig, and I think that meant a lot to the host. Listened to some DJ Anemone. I liked him a lot from when I used to play Armored Core. I had this nuke-laden bot with a sniper-rifle and the big nuke-apparatus had to be balanced out with heavy legs that made the whole thing look like an anemone, and that's what I named it for. I remember naming the pilot Scylla.

01/23/2011 -----
It's never dawned upon me how realistic Syracuse and Yonkers have become until today, when I began numbering out the scholarships I qualify for at Pace. I told Sparrow the evening prior to this, and everything had reached some degree of syzygy or parity or something. The stars have all aligned and all is well on Planet Zack. Attending Pace, which I believe is the only one in the Yonkers Area with Medical is expected to run me about $32,000; with the $27,000 discount I get on scholarships, though, I think I'll manage.

01/24/2011 -----
I can't wait to have a room-mate. Last night I made the grandest Ramen to ever grace a pot, but I didn't have anyone to share it with and it wound up just sitting there. Evaporating. All night. When I bunk-up, I can show off my affinity for breakfast, and my ramen won't go out like that. Maybe I'll hang around Sparrow, and we'll walk around telling medical stories to eachother, laughing about failed appendectomies and nobody will understand why it's so funny but us.

I confess that I often wonder what it'd have been like if I could have played Heroes of Newearth. I could join in as Gauntlet, or something.