I've had "MODERN SWINGER" by the Pink Spiders stuck in my head for awhile. It was an old song I'd yoinked off the status-page of an artist I was inspired by growing up. I had to be about fifteen or so when I last heard it, but I was walking home from work and all of a sudden I was whistling it. It's funny how such things bubble up to the surface of your consciousness when you lest expect it, like when you find a picture you drew ages ago, or when you run into an old acquaintance walking to the grocery store. It was a pleasant sensation, and now can't get it off of me.
Similarly, I've had a sweet tooth for "ISLAND IN A VIDEO CASSETTE" by Nakai 'Chabo' Reichi. It's a soft, otherworldly track punctuated by the sound of the ocean and a starting VCR. It's pleasant and counter-intuitive in how nice it is on the ears.

Further on the topic of things I cannot get out of my head, I have been seized by this odd fixation with trying to play as a Goblin on some sort of media. Or at least a tribal, diminutive, cowardly something, with a propensity for simple clubs, hatchets, and kitchen-knives. Maybe I can make one in Elona or something; I'm contemplating picking up a wooden club and building out a speed-fighter duelist of some sort.

Characters and Ideas for Characters.

BIRDGETTE BINT MURAD AL-MOHDANI: Heiress to the Barony of Almsgwaren-Mohdani; a partnership solidified by the marriage of her parents, Cwlcalb and Murad, a foreign Heiress and an esteemed desert Warlord respectively. Birdgette was raised to be cultured and educated, groomed for an arranged marriage with an orcish magnate, but when she inherited more of her father's genes and grew large, strong, and boyish the marriage fell-through. The humiliation of being left at the altar both shamed her family and lead Birdgette to adopt a distaste for Orcs as well as Nobility and the Monarchies that allow them to thrive. Struggles with an addiction to izidor, a strong hallucinogenic plant. Cherishes her kettle-style izidor pipe and her red designer jacket and has a fondness for opera that was instilled by her Mother's tendency to sing. After coming into possession of an enslaved Unicorn robbed and subsequently freed from an Orc captor, Birdgette finds herself on the run from an industrial empire which has been capitalizing off the regenerative properties of unicorn biomatter. Birdgette's central theme is a sense of contradiction. She is criminal and an addict, but also cultured and noble. She is female, but exceedingly masculine. A heroine and a racist. A Gaelic-inspired Mother with a Pashtun-inspired Father.

SAINT LAFAYETTE OF ROUBITAILLE: A Low Angel or Petty Angelic hailing from a fictional corner of Bordeaux, France. Abandoned by his parents as the quintessential "French Orphan," he is adopted into the church operated by Abbot Gorbeaux as an altar-boy. Lafayette's life remains relatively peaceful until his brutal death at the hands of Marchosias and her brother Vual. Saint Lafayette remains unknowing of these events as he ascends to angelic-status. He is not physically-capable and suffers a perpetual naivete believing all people to be good at heart but this is offset by a genuine sense of bravery and an unpracticed ability to manipulate gravity. Assigned to guard a fragment of Longinus on display at a Bordeaux Cathedral Reliquary, Saint spends his afterlife quietly until ambushed by Zepar and Marchosias' children. A troubled romance with Marchosias, the use of Longinus to develop Angel-harming weaponry, and the rise of the Babylonian Empire which attempts to operate independently of all gods and monsters ultimately leads to a post-apocalyptic world where Heaven, Hell, and Earth all layer atop one-another.

EUPHRASIE SOVREMENNYY: A Jean Marat-inspired researcher and archivist. Under the nom-de-plume D.B. KRMMSTOPP she has contributed a dictionary of Heaven, Hell, and Mystical Beings called the Universal Almanac, as well as research toward cloning, dimensional travel, radiation-weaponry, and magic-nullification. Euphrasie is from a fictionalized portion of Kamchatka, Russia and suffers from a lifelong illness caused by the accidental awakening and subsequent nuclear death of the Seraphim Apsinthion. This illness causes labored breathing, weakened immune-system, and anemia and is partially managed by a bulky respirator. Lives with her love-interest and research-colleague Khivas Walspurgisnacht.

ZOSTER MASPIAN: A caprid little demon with curling ram's-horns and cloven two-toed hooves. A bard who began his career out of necessity when his mother's tailoring business began to flounder, and he subsequently became homeless. A childhood of modeling dresses for his mother to sew has left him with a penchant for cross-dressing, and an equal preference for colorful jester's outfits when performing. A skilled storyteller, fibber, and juggler. Admires a great hero and constantly measures his deeds against their's, and has a hard time restraining his stronger opinions on things. Likes wine, hookah-pipes, and old books about legends.

Une Mise a Jour.

My days always feel CONGESTED, lately, like a pair of gunked-up nostrils.

I've done the math and approximately 71% of my day today was spent working. I was excited to get a car-ride home, but it fell through and I wound up walking back anyhow. When I got home, Benji had fallen asleep, and the plans we'd made to sit-around in roleplay chat inventing stories and characters sort of fell-through. But that's okay, I suppose I can just write here until the clock strikes 9:00PM and then I'll probably sleep to be up by 4:00AM sharp for an encore performance of today.

After a year you might think I'd be used to this WEIRD SCHEDULE by now.

And you'd be wrong; I don't know what it is, but around the nine-hour mark, everything runs together like tapioca in my head and I feel really BURNT-OUT and PASSIVE about a lot of things. I think a lot of folks might just call that being tired. Yeah, maybe that's the case. Maybe I'm just tired.

My sister's birthday was two days ago, and my great friend Rose's was yesterday. It's an expensive month to buy presents, but sadly I'm a bit poorer than usual after ponying up $300 to unanticipated expenses. All the same, I called and spoke with my sister for like THE FIRST TIME IN THREE YEARS and I was surprised at how much she'd matured. She's gone from closed-minded and kind of flaky to open-minded and socially-active within her community. It's really heartening to bear witness to such an unanticipated metamorphosis. I happily talked to her about a multitude of topics: Being Transgender. My Father's Racist Inclinations. Politics. Islam. Husbands. The Many Wise Sayings of Emily Lucas. Peter Pan. Working Long Hours. Lili Elbe. Dysfunctional Mothers. Mid-Life Crises.

It was really refreshing to connect with someone like that, and I felt like contacting her to say happy birthday was more a treat for myself than it was her. What a REFRESHING TURN OF EVENTS.

Lately, I've been brainstorming a lot of character ideas and none are really coming to fruition; it occurred to me to pen a bunch of them down for consideration, review, and chopping-on later, and I'll probably pop them up here later; maybe you can salvage some chunks of their would-be character development and incorporate them into your own works, so in a way, they surpass this embryonic state I've kind of bottled them into? I haven't had a lot of opportunity to draw lately, either, so I feel sort of CREATIVELY-STAGNANT and was really hoping to explore some notional stories today, before my day kind of spiraled into coming home around 9:00PM.

It's approaching my cue to leave; I still need to shower and dry my uniform for tomorrow.
I wish you all the luckiest stars and happy dreamings.

The Word of the Day is:

"TORPOR" - (n.) [TOR-per]: A state of inactivity, indifference, or reduced physical power.

...Sometimes torpor sets in, and I forget simple things like my age and what day it is.

You know, It's Been Forever Since I Started This...

I should probably go back to using this.

I don't have a lot of time to, these days, but 

I FEEL LIKE I WAS A HAPPIER PERSON WHEN I KEPT A DIARY.

Surely, it cannot hurt to try and start it up again.

First thing is probably first - a reintroduction is probably in order.
Hello. I am MEENA DHALGREN. I began this blog as ZACK over four years ago.
I would venture to say I am Transgender; I had my official counseling to begin transition about a year and a half ago but I've been limited by the Department of Defense's policies on Transgender servicemembers. However, as of about two days ago, Defense Secretary Ashton Carter, lifted those restrictions and I may now serve openly.

Currently, I am living in Japan.
This is like, the dream of a lot of the people I know, but really it's a bit of an odd place. You will never not-feel like a foreigner here, and the silly self-deprecating title of "GAIJIN" that so many of us adopt is actually a fairly mild insult here, somewhat akin to getting called a "HILLBILLY".
There is much of the country I have yet to see. I've been here for about a year now, but opportunities to escape out into the world are very few and far between. Which is to say, I've had a single opportunity in the year I've been here, and it wound-up falling through. Nevertheless, it's beautiful here. It rains frequently, which I enjoy, and a general air of quiet respectfulness abounds. You'll never have anyone holler at you, nor will you hear anyone arguing in the streets in Japan, unless it's two Americans and they're drunk.

I am a little more uneasy than I normally am as of late.
It will likely not come as a surprise to hear that, upon adopting my identity as Meena Dhalgren and completing my counseling, I happily contacted my parents to inform them, as I had intended to explore the Military's opportunities for me to start transitioning regardless of existing policies. They did not take it well. They told me they had felt that a member of their family had died. They furthermore told me not to appear at my sibling's graduation.

This wound up being a non-issue regardless, because I was pulled into the Global War on Terrorism in response to the fall of Mosul approximately three days later, which would not have permitted me to attend.

Things didn't really recover after that. I assumed they disliked me. They assumed that I disliked them. We've begun talking again, but they say that they feel "betrayed" at the distance I have put between us. But truth be told, working twelve to fifteen-hour shifts, IT'S HARD TO FIND TIME TO CONVERSE WITH PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE YOU. Who have little positive to say about you. I'm hard-up on time and motivation.

I'm a little worried about today.
Recently, I was essentially promoted to vice-manager of the workcenter I am part of. The "manager" equivalent of the workcenter is largely there to supervise and handle clerical duties while the vice-manager is overall responsible for the quality of the product being provided, and also responsible for presenting the product. It's been a month or so since I've been vice-manager though, due to some manning issues, so I'm worried about going back in inexperienced.

BUT I WASN'T BUILT FOR WORRYING.

I was built for other things! 

So I'll handle it, somehow. 

I plan to just go in a little earlier than usual, and get all the details written down.
Then I'll just go through all my duties and responsibilities checklist-style...

In closing, I wanted to talk about my balcony, I guess...
I know it's silly, but I have this little concrete balcony overlooking a parking-lot.
It's not much, really, and has been a place for me to store discarded boxes for awhile, but I got into the spirit of cleaning at like, 1:00 AM a couple days ago, and I took about half the boxes out to make room for a small table and two chairs...

I've been taking my tea out there. I tried drawing out there, but it's very windy in Japan and it tends to devastate my sketchbook. Nevertheless, I hope to clear out the last of the boxes soon, and then make a small garden.

That would really add something to my life, as well, I think...
Farewell, and here's a picture of the rainy Japanese seaside.

And it just goes on for miles...

The Word of the Day is:

"CYNOSURE" - (n.) [SIGH-no-sure]: Someone or something that is a focal point of admiration.

...I have a lot of cynosures, and many of them are people I've mentioned previous in this place.

A Letter to Emily Lucas.

Dear Miss Lucas,

I want you to know, first and foremost, that I am safe.
I have taken great precaution to make certain of that; possibly the final request you'd ever give me.
Things are often nebulous here, and even now the possibility of scrutiny or repercussion are very real and dangerous simply because of the nature of my work, but frankly, I am no longer scared and I no longer provide the means for anyone to sincerely question or criticize me. In fact, everyone seems rather impressed.

I also want you to know that I know you're out there, somewhere.
That I always knew.
That's not to say I doubted you, nor your ability to vanish completely.
You're my teacher, and in my eyes, probably the greatest witch to have ever lived; so I know it's well within your abilities, to say the very least.

I remember, though, when curious happenings were occurring and they all seemed like they were in your handwriting. After having written you a letter with no postage left in Basic - D.T. Horvath shows up and asks me if I need a stamp. After bouncing six locations, on my last day in Virginia, your letter arrives as I'm literally turning in my issued sheets. Someone is transgender and comes to me for help, and inexplicably, I am able to start them on their lifelong journey, because you have given me those particular tools.

I asked you, "How are you doing these things?" and you'd said, "It's so hard not to reach out when you're trying so hard to be reached."

You're trying so hard to be reached, and I can feel it. I know it - you're okay.
I just did. It wasn't until Leigh casually inquired that you'd apologized for something in an offhanded remark that there were 'Hard Evidence' to support my knowledge, but again, I knew.

Part of me wants to run to you; to ask you if you're doing well. To hug you, and dust you off, and tell you how beautiful and splendid, and intellectual, and talented you always were and continue to be. Part of me wants to buy you chocolates and flowers and bits of clothing and gifts.
I don't know why - part of me will always long to spoil you. It's just a residual thing.
Thinking of an old love, perhaps. An apple for teacher, perhaps. I'm not certain.

But I've been suppressing that as of late.
I feel like, above all else, I needlessly complicate you.
Beautiful, fascinating you.

So, I do what I do best. I talk and I ramble about you to anyone who will listen.
I talk of the greatest teacher I've ever had, who met me in a time I truly needed it.
I talk of one who has survived on so little, and contributed so much - the rose growing in an ashtray.
The person who my longing to document taught me to draw.
The opener of my perspective.
My collapsed - but unrepentant and beautiful - former intimacy.
What a person - what a friend.

I just wanted to let you know I'm okay.
That I don't want to complicate you anymore.
That I appreciate everything.
And that I will continue reaching out.

If you do need something, please don't hesitate.
I'll keep things short in interest of simplicity.
And I'll tell you a couple portions of this in person.

Until then, I will simply continue to enjoy Passepied, and Mangore's Waltz.
And your favored Campanella. And other beautiful things I'd have never discovered if not for you.

With love,
Meena

Mina

The Litany of the Future.

One New York based Family, last located 1050Z via RECCE on day one of an assessed four day transit to Tampa, Florida. Assess the Family to port in Tampa, Florida within the next seventy-two hours.

This is how I'd had to talk every time I gave a brief and had a vessel underway. Rumor has it I won't have to recite a litany for every individual vessel, now, but I won't get to find out for another three months or so - when I arrive in CENTCOM, I'm told I'll be doing a lot of "Facilities," which is where I'm either on watch or escorting cleaning personnel into secure facilities to make certain they don't do anything that could compromise national security.

I'm alright with that. That's an easy job to hold for the span of a promotion.
I'll be reaching E-3 while pushing a broom or holding a door for someone who pushes brooms.

It's been a weird and kind of bittersweet affair to see my family again.
I think my Mother said it best when she was talking about why my little sister, Alec, was acting so hostile toward me in front of her friends. She told me:

"I think she was expecting her big brother to come home. And he didn't. Instead, this married guy with a new set of priorities came, and she wasn't expecting it. And that's the way it should be - I'm proud of you. But it's hard. We're all trying to find our new roles in your life, and it's hard on us - especially on a seventeen year-old girl."

I think that kind of sums up how everything'd been, actually.
That, coupled with a bunch of family outings with friends, kind of left us all seeing very little of eachother.
Maybe that's for the best, given that we're to be parted so soon as I leave to Tampa.

After day four or day five of delightful park-dates, work-outs, feeding birds, cooking dinner, and eating out, my wife and I kind of ran out of things to do, so we went on a Miyazaki film-binge. It was pretty wonderful and I wound up watching a lot of films I hadn't seen in a long time, or seen at all.

We watched Ponyo, My Neighbor Totoro, Nausicaa...
We tried to branch out and watch Waltz with Bashir, but my only copy of it with subtitles was on my Computer, which was downstairs after escaping my tangle of electronic spaghetti to write Moga.

The game-developer I'd been nerding-out over several posts ago, who developed an intimate favorite of mine, "I'm Scared of Girls" as well as "Safety: Life is a Maze" both of which I highly recommend you sample, have been talking frequently. We've really got a lot in common, and it's been refreshing to nerd-out over mutually adored painters Klimt and Mucha, as well as swapping a few like Rothko and Vincent Hui.
I've just found a great new friend on a bit of a whim, and I couldn't be happier about it.

Anyways, I'm gonna prepack the car while Leigh's asleep, so I can save her some sorrow as we prepare to get on the road. We should be stopping at a hotel sometime around 8:00 PM, which'll get us as far as we need to go for the day as well as off the road before the Sun really starts to close-up shop and leave us in the dark. Everything should check out pretty well by my estimate...

I'll try to keep you guys posted if you're interested.
Be safe, be patient, and I'll see you all a bit less sporadically as the week develops.

Oh, and I get payed on the fifteenth!

A Letter from a Recently-Departed Roommate, J.J. Bonnette

"

BYE BUDDY

I wish you and your wife nothing less than the many long years of Love and Happiness to share together for the rest of your lives.

P.S. If you're ever back in Liverpool █████ (old man' # -_- )

But if you ever need help, I'll be there.

... P.S.S.

I left a shit-ton of trash in the wood cabinet.

But you got two pizzas I ordered + ice cream now to enjoy.

Yeaaah... I ruined the moment, didn't I?

BAI BAI :D

-Bonnette 

"

Frustrated.

I put in my time.

You can ask my sickly wife, whom I am parted from regularly.

I go in late.

I go in early.

And I rehearse aloud.

I'm very frustrated today; only a single of my Shipmates and myself had come in over the weekend for a significant span of time with the purpose of assembling the brief. My Grouplead, and another, put in a sum of forty-five minutes, and the resultant heat was unleashed upon the entirety of the group.

So frustrated with us was a man that I admire - who is arguably the only person to connect with me on a one-on-one basis in a Military setting - that he stood up and left for the duration of our brief.

I was crushed.

I feel like my reputation was compromised by someone else's shortcomings.

I know that to not be entirely true, but there is still an ugly feeling within me that hurts.

When being questioned as to the integrity of our group, I stated the time I put in.
I said, "I was told to come in 1800. I do not like the time of 1800, because I typically speak to my wife at this hour, but I came in at 1700 until 1945 for the purposes of assembling the brief."
He asked who assembled the brief. I said the brief had been locked and was inaccessible. As such, I had come in early with the person who had locked it, and assembled it myself before-hours.

My Grouplead attested that he had said, "1600," and not "1800."

That's untrue. We've come in 1800 every day of the week.
It's irrational for it to simply change over the weekend.

As we departed, I inquired, "When will we be coming in?"

My Grouplead scoffed and mocked me: "We'll pick a time you like."

I was so angry. So hurt. I put in more time than you.

You loosed irate instructors upon the group.

You take me away from my wife when she is ill.

Don't you dare paint me as some sort of favored child.

...In conclusion, I've brought you Gymnopedie No. 3, an Erik Satie's masterpiece for piano transcribed for Guitar, where its somber sounds (compared to the other, happier Gymnopedies, No. 1, and No.2) are highlighted.

Classical Music.

Later today, at some point, I'd like to talk about Erik Satie's three Gymnopedie,
Vivaldi's The Seasons (and Alphonse Mucha's respective artwork) and other such pleasantries.



I don't know if I will get to, but it would be delightful.

I think I'd also like to showcase a bit of Hauschka.

Sing Me a Song

When I was in grade school, we had these enormous textbooks that we could never hope to cover in the span of a year in their entirety. So the curriculum was always 'We picked a couple, here they are.'

Towards the end of every year, though, as the curriculum winded down, we were given free time and allowed to focus on the portions that we wanted.

My favorite time for this to occur was in English Class. I could read as many short stories as I wanted, or just look at the pictures associated with them - always from obscure artists, and credited as such. I remember the picture for a portion of 'Most Dangerous Game' consisting of a screaming dog titled 'Yeshka' or something similar...

But more than 'Yeshka,' I remember "Sing Me a Song," by Bodecker.
Hidden far in the back of the book where we never got to read was a poetry and nonsense section,
and I wound up really enjoying this particular little diddy. It's never left my mind and I actually sang the 'Plum Jam' part to myself while walking home for lunch today:

"Sing me a song
of teapots and trumpets:
Trumpots and teapets
and tippets and taps,
tripper and trappers
and jelly bean wrappers
and pigs in pajamas
with zippers and snaps.
Sing me a song
of sneakers and snoopers:
Snookers and sneapers
and snappers and snacks,
snorkels and snarkles,
a seagull that gargles,
and gargoyles and gryphons
and other knickknacks.
Sing me a song
of parsnips and pickles:
Picsnips and parkles
and pumpkins and pears,
plumbers and mummers
and kettle drum drummers
and plum jam (yum-yum jam!)
all over their chairs.
Sing me a song -
but never you mind it!
I’ve had enough
of this nonsense. Don’t cry.
Criers and fliers
and onion ring fryers -
It’s more than I want to put up with!
Good-by!"

N.M. Bodecker

Excerpts from Lamb.

I spent the time waiting to assume my 1:00 AM watch last night completing Moga's sleeper hit,
'I'm Scared of Girls.'

It's one of those beautiful things that hit surprisingly close to home.

It's not frequent that I talk about Emily, but it really reminded me so much of her.

I wish I were more equipped to help her. I should write her or something.

Anyways, if you'd like to try it, you can download it for free right Here

'I'm Scared of Girls' is a title about Lamb. Lamb is a recently deceased transgender woman.
Urged to sever spiritual ties so that she can be reborn, Lamb wades through her memories, occasionally woefully out of order, given you ephemeral glimpses of who Lamb was and the events leading up to her death.

Each excerpt you're treated to is sub-bulleted underneath the constant rain, which Lamb says is a product of a 'Broken Climate' that set in sometime after a fight with her parents, and set to beautiful piano.

I'm tagging this

As a massive

SPOILER

Because below, for those of you not

Interested in Playing 

Can read some of Lamb's many memories:

"It started when I was kicked out - or ran away.
The difference was slim as soon as I disappeared.

I was told to never come back.
It was also the day the Climate broke.
This town became a rain zone - with constant cloud cover and rain.

I was standing in it outside without an umbrella.
All my clothes, papers, and everything got soaked. Officially.

It was supposed to be a normal day - but I did something stupid.
I've crossdressed for ages - I have the body and face for it.
Something about a hormone imbalance, but either way, after days of trying out clothes, I was found out.

Everyone in my house freaked.
I was already a trouble, but this just gave them another excuse to rip me a new one.

After I was slapped around by my parents - I went for a kitchen knife.
They instantly called the Police and I bolted.

I ran upstairs, packed what I could - which happened to be the girl's clothing already in my bag, my cellphone, and a knife - And now here I am.

Soaked.

You could probably see my boy parts if you looked hard enough.

I've got to go somewhere - I guess I'll just try and find shelter."



I met him at the Library. I tripped into this older guy - he looked kind of mean - but he apologized and insisted on buying me a drink.
So I let him.
He went by Pitt.
Then we sat down outside and talked for awhile. At first it was awkward and quiet. Then-
"Do you believe in Ghosts?"
"U-Um-..."
"Nevermind."
"Yes. Yes, I do."
"Really? Why?"
I was silent, then I told him - I took another jump.
Normally, I'd have ran after tripping into someone.
"I see them. A lot."
There has always been something wrong with me. if it wasn't one thing, it was another.
But I can see things people don't. Sometimes, I see ghosts. Sometimes, I travel just by touching something-

One time, I even watched myself taking a test in class - but after that, I was so freaked out I haven't been back in class since.
I wasn't doing too well before that, anyways.
"Wow."
"It's weird."
"It is weird. But I am weirder."
He reached into his pocket-
"This is a Swiss Army Knife. I've had it for a long time. Want to hold it?"
"Um- No."
"What? I'm not going to stab you, or something- Here-"
He grabbed my hands and placed it there.
And then it happened.



After I was kicked out, and before I started working at the Office
I did two strange things. The first was when I had got a jog at a midnight diner-
I picked up everything pretty, got along with all the people there as well as I could.
But the customers were strange - out of the corner of my eyes, they were just dark masses constantly deforming and reforming.
I thought it was my eyes, but it happened nearly every night there.
One of the customers that came after midnight talked to me when I was sitting outside on break.
He asked me if I'd come back to his apartment for some cash, and shoved a card in my hand.
I flat out refused - but he just smiled and walked off.
For some reason, I kept the card.
About a month afterwards, I was fired.





After I lost my job at the Midnight Diner, I didn't have any leads for anything.
My friends had all went their ways and my cellphone was constantly out of service somehow.
Again in the rain, the back of my mind fell out.
I placed a fake smile on.
Brushed my white dress off - and called the number on the card I got earlier from a guy.
Over the line, I could hear his breathing lustfully drool over the prospect-
"Hey there, remember me? From the diner? I was wondering-..."
"I'll send a cab to get you - where are you?"
The cab came crawling up - and I swore I heard funeral bells before I got in.
That night I was passed around like a drinking bottle,
And the last thing I remember is some cash being thrown on me
Soaking up fluids that had been excreted.



I had ran from the apartment the moment I woke back up.
I didn't even bother to wash-off. My dress was disordered and stained.
I felt awful.
My legs felt broke, but were still working properly.
On my right arm there was a bruise in the shape of a hand.
A tattoo burned onto me by pure intent and my desperate attempt--
The money wasn't even worth it...



I had become a regular at the office.
Apparently, the workers and construction managers had become used to
Or even liked me in office-girl clothing. The stares I got as my butt passed nearly made me squeamish. But after awhile, I got over that. One guy, though, his name was - I can't think of it actually.
One day he found me and awkwardly asked me to meet him upstairs in the lounge on the Third Floor.

I was kind of scared but not as paranoid at that point - so I did.
He started twitching when I got there; he didn't even say anything.
Then he started vibrating uncontrollably - and finally, the back of his head blew up, sending blood all over the back wall.

For a second, I did nothing.
Then I passed out from shock.
Later, they said that he died from some obscure medical disorder that had developed to a lethal degree.
Poor guy.
I
Don't even know his name.

Safety: Life is a Maze

Ladies and Gentlemen, might I present to you Moga's 2013 project, "Safety: Life is a Maze".

It's a bizarre game that I can't quite explain to you for several reasons. It seems to be a plot-driven game about a young girl named Mina who mysteriously sprouts horns and finds herself and several friends whisked away to a world that she doesn't understand after a confrontation with her boyfriend, Andy.
It features the occasional RPG element and fight scene with a very beautiful, bizarre style rife with static, monotone tapes featuring the voice of Investigators, and cute, pixely portraits.

Immediately, I was taken by its style and mysterious air.

Sadly, I cannot play it - my Laptop has always had trouble with the display of Static Overlays.
For this reason, low demand games like Lone Survivor and .flow will occasionally become agonizingly slow for me. But even though I cannot play it, that doesn't mean you all cannot!

I'd like to do my part to showcase Moga's work by advertising it.

Please, click Here to download it, and let us all here at Cobuniji know what you thought!

Now - I can't stick around. I have an Area of Responsibility Threat Brief due on Tuesday!
I'll catch you around after I write a detailed summary of the Sanctions currently placed on Iran via the UN, US, and EU.

I Will Praise Him.

Lately, there's a lot that brings me to tears.
My OPINTEL course is very intimidating.
My instructors are intimidating.
My audience is intimidating.
The people I used to rely on for leadership aren't around.
My wife - she's my whole world - she cannot help me.
All I have is Jesus.

I've been praying a lot.
And reading a lot.
And crying a lot.
And singing a little in between.

I Will Praise Him

By Margaret J. Harris

When I saw the cleansing fountain
Open wide for all my sin,
I obeyed the Spirit’s wooing,
When He said, “Wilt thou be clean?”

I will praise Him! I will praise Him!
Praise the Lamb for sinners slain;
Give Him glory, all ye people,
For His blood can wash away each stain.

Though the way seems straight and narrow,
All I claimed was swept away;
My ambitions, plans and wishes,
At my feet in ashes lay.

I will praise Him! I will praise Him!
Praise the Lamb for sinners slain;
Give Him glory, all ye people,
For His blood can wash away each stain.

Then God’s fire upon the altar
Of my heart was set aflame;
I shall never cease to praise Him
Glory, glory to His Name!

I will praise Him! I will praise Him!
Praise the Lamb for sinners slain;
Give Him glory, all ye people,
For His blood can wash away each stain.

Blessèd be the Name of Jesus!
I’m so glad He took me in;
He’s forgiven my transgressions,
He has cleansed my heart from sin.

I will praise Him! I will praise Him!
Praise the Lamb for sinners slain;
Give Him glory, all ye people,
For His blood can wash away each stain.
Glory, glory to the Father!
Glory, glory to the Son!
Glory, glory to the Spirit!
Glory to the Three in One!

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN

SELF-GLORIFYING QUIZ-TIME

• 1: Name: Zackery Harmeyer
• 2: Age:20
• 3: 3 Fears: Being stationed somewhere far away. Failure. Heights.
• 4: 3 things I love: Tea on a cold day. Leigh. Liquorice.
• 5: 4 turns on: Being allowed to cross-dress. Improvised leashes and cuffs. Bed-hair. Curvy tummies.
• 6: 4 turns off: Being sent to bed pissed-off. Grossing someone out. When I don't have time to shave first. HAVING. TO MUSTER. AT ANY POINT.
• 7: My best friend: My wife.
• 8: Sexual orientation: I'd say Bisexual - I've had a little bit of everything in my time, but I love a woman. But I wouldn't mind if she had a penis, either. It's just one of those things.
• 9: My best first date: We wade around in the desert, have a picnic on the beach, and then snuggle up in a snow-lodge.
• 10: How tall am I: Five-foot nine inches.
• 11: What do I miss: Leigh, Television, and being able to cook.
• 12: What time were I born
• 13: Favourite color: Orange.
• 14: Do I have a crush: IS2 Graffentine. Hurrhurr.
• 15: Favourite quote: One's "It doesn't matter how fast you go so long as you never stop." by Ghandi.
• 16: Favourite place: Truth be told, if I could go back to the Mojave Desert, I would.
• 17: Favourite food: Biscuits with honey. Yogurt and fruit. Coffee and pasteries. Anything saucy and Asian.
• 18: Do I use sarcasm: I'd never use sarcasm.
• 19: What am I listening to right now: I recently found my old stash of PIERROT albums...
• 20: First thing I notice in new person: Facial structure, or their attitude.
• 21: Shoe size: 11's.
• 22: Eye color: Brown
• 23: Hair color: Brunette
• 24: Favourite style of clothing: Jacket. Blouse. Shiny black shoes. Anything with suspenders.
• 25: Ever done a prank call?: Yes. Someone called for my sister and I pretended to be an increasingly annoyed man trying to enjoy his dinner.
• 27: Meaning behind my URL: Once upon a time, I was a Wriggle Nightbug roleplayer. I'd wanted to imitate Liam and set up a blog like his, because it seemed very cathartic, and I'd asked him what I should call it. He said, "Mmph, I don't know. Uuhhh-- Corner... Bug. Night Jive," which I then contracted to the vaguely-weeaboo "Cobuniji," the first two letters of every portion of the name suggested.
• 28: Favourite movie: The Iron Giant.
• 29: Favourite song: Oh, don't make me pick. Lately, I've been fawning over Floating Darkness.
• 30: Favourite band: I've been listening to a lot of, I kid you not, VeggieTales and PIERROT as of late.
• 31: How I feel right now: Hungry, but the Naval Exchange is closed.
• 32: Someone I love: Leigh.
• 33: My current relationship status: Married.
• 34: My relationship with my parents: I call when I can.
• 35: Favourite holiday: Halloween - even though you don't really get out for anything, it's a beautiful time of year and I have a lot of fun dressing up as a Nun every year.
• 36: Tattoos and piercing i have: None - I contemplate getting a brand every now and then, though.
• 37: Tattoos and piercing i want: A brand of Metatron's Cube, or the Ambition Sigil.
• 38: The reason I joined Tumblr: Followin' Now-Defunct Askblogs.
• 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: No. We wrote eachother recently.
• 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: EVERY DAY. FROM MY WIFE. I GIVE THEM, TOO. THEY'RE MAD IMPORTANT.
• 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: Nope.
• 42: When did I last hold hands?: With Leigh, on our way to the beach. We laughed our happy asses off about it, too, because I'm not allowed to hold hands in uniform - I have to "Offer a Proper Arm."
• 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: An hour. I usually iron my uniform. Hop into it. Grab my fistful of keycards, brush my teeth. Shave. Make my bed. And then take out the trash after eating something small (Cup of Noodles or a Spinach Hotpocket) for breakfast.
• 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?: I'm miko-pit smooth right now. It's nice.
• 45: Where am I right now?: BEQ - Building 566 Bravo.
• 46: If I were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: Leigh or a DMTI.
• 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: It depends on what I'm listening to. So I utilize headphones.
• 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: Nope.
• 49: Am I excited for anything?: Graduation, C-School, and Leigh's next visit.
• 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?: Yep.
• 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: Every time I put on my boots.
• 52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: I hugged Seaman Apprentice Swire yesterday and told him his accent's nothing to worry about. He gets picked on for sounding Russian.
• 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: Depends on who it was. I'd probably forgive and  forget though, if it didn't happen twice.
• 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: EVERY. OTHER. SAILOR. I WORK WITH.
• 55: What is something I disliked about today?: 1130 Muster.
• 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: I have a few people I'd like to meet. Ana'd be cool to hang out with.
• 57: What do I think about most?: Time not-spent working.
• 58: What’s my strangest talent?: I can chiffonade like a motherfucker.
• 59: Do I have any strange phobias?: Anybody higher rank than I.
• 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: Behind.
• 61: What was the last lie I told?: "I'm feeling better already!"
• 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: My craptop has trouble running Video Chat, but it runs calls pretty well.
• 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: Both.
• 64: Do I believe in magic?: Yes, but it's largely will and belief centric, as well as philosophic in origin.
• 65: Do I believe in luck?: Isn't luck just "The low odds of something happening happening?"
• 66: What's the weather like right now?: Tropical Storm-y.
• 67: What was the last book I've read?: "A Perfect Day for Banana Fish."
• 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: I do.
• 69: Do I have any nicknames?: "Harmeyer," "Bible," "Bibbly," "Bibi," "Zack."
• 70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?: I cracked my sternum once. It hurt worse than accidentally stabbing my knee.
• 71: Do I spend money or save it?: Spend a portion on tigers. Save the rest.
• 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?: No.
• 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?: My pink panties are hiding in my dresser waiting to be washed.
• 74: Favourite animal?: Sheep, Goats, Crabs, Sea Urchins, Snails, Slugs. All sorts of stuff.
• 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: Sleeping in preparation for 0530 Muster.
• 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?: "Thanatos"...?
• 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: "Routine Melodies," by the Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra.
• 78: How can you win my heart?: Be committed, don't lie to me, include me in your day, and understand that I'm in the military.
• 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?: "Whoops"
• 80: What is my favorite word?: "Particularly," according to my last Brief.
• 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: Swingtho, ShinyScrewholes, Bleetdev, and two AskBlogs of your choice.
• 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: "Lighten up, you guys."
• 83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: Not currently. Charles just got out after stabbing my uncle.
• 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?: Holy Sanction.
• 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?: "Are you scared?"
• 86: What is my current desktop picture?: This.
• 87: Had sex?: That's above your classification clearance.
• 88: Bought condoms?: They're in my dresser in a variety of sensations.
• 89: Gotten pregnant?: I'm carrying Leigh's buttchildren.
• 90: Failed a class?: No. But I have failed a Brief before.
• 91: Kissed a boy?: Yes.
• 92: Kissed a girl?: Yes.
• 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?: Repeatedly.
• 94: Had job?: Yes.
• 95: Left the house without my wallet?: Yes.
• 96: Bullied someone on the internet?: GET REKT, YOU SCORE-HUNGRY DICKMOOSE.
• 97: Had sex in public?: No. Have gotten-off in public, though. In a school-desk no less. How animu.
• 98: Played on a sports team?: I was on a Weightlifting Team in Highschool.
• 99: Smoked weed?: Nope. Parents are violently allergic. Gave me permission to vomit my guts out if I wanted.
• 100: Did drugs?: NOT. EVEN. ONCE.
• 101: Smoked cigarettes?: Briefly. Emily found out and made me stop.
• 102: Drank alcohol?: Briefly. It's mostly fueled by my want to mix assorted cocktails like a showoff.
• 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?: I was Vegetarian for a long time. I'm thinking about doing it again.
• 104: Been overweight?: I WAS MAD PUDGY AS A CHILD.
• 105: Been underweight?: No. 135 was my lowest.
• 106: Been to a wedding?: Yes.
• 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: Uh-huh.
• 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?: No.
• 109: Been outside my home country?: Yes.
• 110: Gotten my heart broken?: Repeatedly.
• 111: Been to a professional sports game?: Yes. Hockey with a family friend. Not my bag.
• 112: Broken a bone?: Yes. Growth-plate in my foot. Sternum.
• 113: Cut myself?: My hands are covered in scars from improper knife-handing as a child.
• 114: Been to prom?: Yep. Took someone whom I didn't want to go alone because she was an awesome person.
• 115: Been in airplane?: Yep.
• 116: Fly by helicopter?: No.
• 117: What concerts have I been to?: A single Christian Rock concert with my mother. Had a chance to see Nine Inch Nails, but I was working at the time and skipped-out on it.
• 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?: Yes.
• 119: Learned another language?: Briefly took German and French.
• 120: Wore make up?: When I get all dolled-up to try and be tiger-cute.
• 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?: Nope. Lost it at nineteen.
• 122: Had oral sex?: I enjoy giving it far more. I'm ashamed because I taste salty...
• 123: Dyed my hair?: PINK. BRIGHT PINK.
• 124: Voted in a presidential election?: Yes.
• 125: Rode in an ambulance?: No.
• 126: Had a surgery?: No.
• 127: Met someone famous?: Does Yosu count?
• 128: Stalked someone on a social network?: No.
• 129: Peed outside?: Yes.
• 130: Been fishing?: Yes.
• 131: Helped with charity?: Frequently.
• 132: Been rejected by a crush?: Frequently.
• 133: Broken a mirror?: No. S'bad juju.
• 134: What do I want for birthday?: A pumpkin pie or a box of Sushi.
• 135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?: I can't decide that alone.
• 136: Was I named after anyone?: Zack, the Lego-Maniac, I shit you not.
• 137: Do I like my handwriting?: I wish I could do Cursive.
• 138: What was my favourite toy as a child?: Beanie Babies and Legos. I know it's a weird combination, and even worse, horribly fitting to whom I was named after.
• 139: Favourite Tv Show?: Adventure Time and Regular Show.
• 140: Where do I want to live when older?: The coast or the desert. Or a lighthouse.
• 141: Play any musical instrument?: Nope, but I can bust out some sick kazoo.
• 142: One of my scars, how did I get it?: I busted myself in the face with a bookshelf I was carrying It's down the bridge of my nose and under my left eye.
• 143: Favourite pizza toping?: Spinach and Feta, with Whitesauce. Try it at Domino's.
• 144: Am I afraid of the dark?: Not in particular.
• 145: Am I afraid of heights?: Kind of, yes.
• 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?: Yes.
• 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?: Yes.
• 148: What I'm really bad at: Public speaking, drawing, GetAmped.
• 149: What my greatest achievments are: Marrying Leigh and joining the Navy.
• 150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: "I think the problem's you."
• 151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery: Tell the Navy "Nevermind."
• 152: What do I like about myself: I don't fuck people over.
• 153: My closest Tumblr friend: Swingtho.
• 154: Something I fantasise about: Bellies and Warm Strawberry Gel.
• 155: Who's a cool villain?: I like Visi and Double. I've also been fixed on another one that I'm not proud of. And with regards to sheer sass and personality, Hades, from Disney's Hercules.
• 156: Any question you'd like to add.

And Now It's Time

For Silly Songs with Dimacelli

The part of the Navy where Dimacelli comes out and sings a silly song.

So without further adieu, cadence, with Dimacelli.

MIGHTY FINE

They say that in the Navy the coffee's mighty fine.
It looks like muddy water and tastes like turpentine.

Oh Lord, I wanna go.
But they won't let me go.
Oh - Hey!

They say that in the Navy, the racks are mighty fine.
How the hell would I know? I've never slept in mine.

Oh Lord, I wanna go.
But they won't let me go.
Oh - Hey!

They say that in the Navy, the pay is mighty fine.
They'll give you a hundred dollars, and take back ninety-nine.

Oh Lord, I wanna go.
But they won't let me go.
Oh - Hey!

They say that in the Navy, the women are mighty fine.
They look like Halle Berry and march like Frankenstein.

Oh Lord, I wanna go.
But they won't let me go.
Oh - Hey!

They say that in the Navy, the mail is mighty fine.
Today I got a letter dated 1949.

Oh Lord, I wanna go.
But they won't let me go.
Oh - Hey!

They say that in the Navy, the barracks are waterproof.
You wake up in the morning and you're floating on the roof.

Oh Lord, I wanna go.
But they won't let me go.
Oh - Hey!

They say that in the Navy, the toilets are mighty fine.
Flush it down at seven and it comes back up at nine.

Oh Lord, I wanna go.
But they won't let me go.
Oh - Hey!

They say that in the Navy, the chicken's mighty fine.
Mine jumped on the table and started double-time.

Oh Lord, I wanna go.
But they won't let me go.
Oh - Hey!

They say that in the Navy, the steak is mighty fine.
You can chew on it for hours but you're only wastin' time.

Oh Lord, I wanna go.
But they won't let me go.
Oh - Hey!

They say that in the Navy, the biscuit's mighty fine.
One rolled off the table and killed a friend of mine.

Oh Lord, I wanna go.
But they won't let me go.
Oh - Hey!

THE GIRL WHO WORE A YELLOW RIBBON

I knew a girl who wore a yellow ribbon.

She wore it in the springtime, in the merry month of May.

And if you asked her why the hell she wore it

She wore it for her sailor who was always underway

Underway

Underway

She wore it for her sailor who was always underway.

Around the town, she pushed a baby carriage.

She pushed it in the springtime, in the merry month of May.

And if you asked her why the hell she pushed it

She pushed it for her sailor who was always underway.

Underway

Underway

She wore it for her sailor who was always underway.

Back at home, her daddy cleaned his shotgun.

He cleaned it in the springtime, in the merry month of May.

And if you asked him why the hell he cleaned it,

He cleaned it just to keep that sailor far, far away.

Far away

Far away

He cleaned it just to keep that sailor far, far away.

READY FOR WAR

I hear the chopper comin'.
It's hoverin' overhead.
They're coming to get the wounded.
They're coming to make some dead.

They were always ready for war.
Locked and loaded.
Locked and loaded!
Locked and loaded, we've done this before.

They're were always ready for war.
So early, so early, so early in the morning.

Sittin' in the CIVIC,
Buttons all around.
Feelin' a little bit frisky!
I push the red one down.
Hot damn, I blew up Iran!

Locked and loaded.
Locked and loaded!
Locked and loaded, we've done this before.

They're were never ready for war.
So early, so early, so early in the morning.

Sittin' in the Sandbox,
Sharpening my knife.
When out pops Kim Jong-Un.
You know I took his life!

He was never ready for war.
Locked and loaded.
Locked and loaded!
Locked and loaded, we've done this before.

He was never ready for war
So early, so early, so early in the morning.

Creepin' through the Jungle,
I thought I heard a snap.
Out pops Battalion Leader!
It wasn't a booby-trap!

'Cause he was always ready for war.
Locked and loaded.
Locked and loaded!
Locked and loaded, we've done this before.

He was always ready for war.
So early, so early, so early in the morning.
Too early, too early, too early every morning.

 IN THE EARLY MORNING RAIN

Got a letter in the mail
Go to war, or go to jail.
Got a letter in the mail, mail, mail.
In the early morning rain.

I asked him where I could sign.
He said on the dotted line.
I asked where I could sign, sign, sign.
In the early morning rain.

Packed my bags, kissed my wife.
Headed off to sailor-life.
Headed off to sailor life, life, life.
In the early morning rain.

Told my son, please don't cry.
Superman never dies.
Superman never dies, dies, dies.
In the early morning rain.

Got the enemy to my front.
And the ocean to my rear.
Dying people's all I hear, hear, hear.
In the early morning rain.

LT. JOHNSON

Low, high, low, right-left.
Low, righty, low, righty, low, right-left.
The U.S. Navy SEALS are the best.
They'll give their lives just to save the rest.


Lt. Johnson just had a baby boy.
Not long after, he had to deploy.
He kissed his wife and told his baby goodbye.
Little did he know that he would give his life.

Low, high, low, right-left.
Low, righty, low, righty, low, right-left.

Lt. killed his target with his rifle and blade.
Completed his task to keep his brothers safe.
Lt. jumped on to a hand grenade.
Lord only knows how many lifes he saved.

Low, high, low, right-left.
Low, righty, low, righty, low, right-left.

EVERYBODY LOVES A SOLDIER

UNTIL HE COMES HOME.

That's a line from Tim O'Brien's "The Things They Carried," a fictional story with factual influences told from the perspective of various soldiers in a Vietnam platoon both before, during, and after their Military Service. It's not a particularly happy collection of vignettes, but I guess that's why it's so fitting a quote.

Being in the military is difficult.

Some of it's classified, so

I can't talk about some of it.

Parts of it are hard to explain.

People can't relate to you.

You're always the bad guy.

I really don't like Chief Harlow. He often mocks our Battalion, which I find disrespectful, and he jokes frequently in what I find to be a distasteful fashion. He directly addressed a critique I wrote, once, with the misconception that I was requesting a vote rather than a tally, and more or less called me stupid and naive for thinking the Navy would ever give a damn what a single Battalion decided amongst itself.

"You don't have rights anymore," he said. "You gave those up so others could have them."

That's one of the hardest things to explain to people.

Trying to sounds exaggerated. Or worse, like you're some sort of martyr, and when people are dissatisfied with you on a social level, the last thing they want to hear is some self-sacrificing bullshit about how, as a Sailor, you don't always have a say in what you do, when you do it, and for how long.

• Sometimes, I have to muster six times a day.
• Sometimes, I have to work until midnight.
• Sometimes, I don't get to eat.
• Sometimes, I don't get a complimentary phone-call.
• Sometimes, I have to wade through the red tape.
• Sometimes, I have to shut-up and color.
• Sometimes, I'm not accountable for myself, but for the guy next to the guy next to me.
• Sometimes, I don't sleep.
• Sometimes, I work with and for incompetent people.
• Sometimes, I realize that getting hospitalized could mean an extra month here.
• Sometimes, I show up sick and pretend I'm not.
• Sometimes, things just go wrong.
• Sometimes, things just go right, but things have gone wrong so long that it doesn't cheer you up.

If I write on myself or get an unauthorized tattoo, it is legally vandalism, as I am government property.
Perhaps that's a bit of perspective on the way things work within the United States Military.

I think if we didn't laugh at ourselves.

If we didn't laugh at others behind closed doors.

If Dimacelli didn't sing cadence about how terrible things can be in a lighthearted manner.

The U.S. Navy would almost certainly spiral into mass-depression.

I am SA Harmeyer.

And I assess this with Moderate Confidence.

Just another Mise a Jour.

I've not really had a lot of time to post and stuff, but that's a given sort of; I'm sure you've all really come to expect that of me by now, and it's a little saddening to presume that, but it's also an accurate assessment so there's not really much I can do about it beyond pout over you being correct, apologize, and write when I can.

Today's going to be a good day - I woke up and got EVERYTHING I needed done.
I was so in the zone that I sort of forgot about showing up to Muster, which has net me a Double-Watch next Thursday, but seeing as we're understaffed and they're passing out Double-Watches to people who didn't mess-up, I'm not particularly phased.

I sort of want to ask if it's at all possible for me to take someone else's watch so that they can actually HAVE a weekend, but I have a sneaky suspicion Turner and Kobak aren't hearing any of it - they reprint the Watchbills too much as it is. All the same, I'm going to give it a shot and see if I can't arrange for it.

I've got a good deal I need to do today: I've got to enroll my wife in DEERS today at lunch or so.
My critical evaluation of Greece's political state is mostly done, so I'm not particularly sweating asking for time to do some in the middle of work.

I've also got to get my hair Man-Shou'd again.
For the record, if any of you care to have that haircut, the recipe for it is:
"Shave the sides, half an inch on-top."
Now, you, too, can be a dashing tiger.


I had a hell of an evening last night; it was just splendid.
After a night of Corehunting, and doing okay on Avyon Court despite it being my very first time ever playing, I spent the entire day lovesick and mushy before topping it off with a literal evening of posting pictures of butts with Felis, Leigh, and Eric. 

THE ASS WAS FAT.

 Today's To-Do List, for my self-reference, is:

• Visit TSC at Lunch.
• Haircut.
• Assemble Resume.
• Assemble Brief.
• Iron Peanutbutters.
• Muster 1800.
• Muster 2030.
• Verify Dutyswap.
• Stock back up on coffee. 

DID ZACK GET ANYTHING DONE TODAY?: 

You bet your cuss I didn't!

I spent all afternoon assembling my own imaginary orders while our Battalion took twenty minutes to muster, removing ANY WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY I HAD to do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING.

ONE CREW, ONE SCREW. 

HOOYAH, NAVY.

Seed-Faith Living.

I've only got ten minutes.

I felt like I didn't have much to look forward to this week; it began with me standing Colors six times, getting into a faux-pas with Leigh because I'd waited for her to finish tailoring a skin before sleeping,

(Each stand of Colors consists of two portions. I stood morning, evening, and then they called me out of the shower to stand someone elses when they didn't show up to do it, as well.)

 and then I followed it up by standing the 0315 to 0515 Quarterdeck Watch, which means I got up at 0400 and slept at 0515 the next day, really.

After 0515, I wake up at 0630 to dress, clean, and fall out for work.

But it's not true. I've got a lot to look forward to; I take the first step as a married man in sharing my life with Leigh today. Bleet's latest edition of Fleshchild wasn't released yet, so it's bound to come out sometime this week, instead. And even though I'm somewhat stressed about my next brief, I know God and Leigh will get me through it, like they always have.

Lately, when I fall into moods like this, where I feel like I'm making mistakes, like I can see the future because I repeat the same routine, and like I'm measuring the day by how much work I have to do less than the next, I pray about it.

I've always used a very standard prayer that I've used since I were small, and then I tend to tack on anything extra, pressing, or particularly solemn afterwards, but lately I've been reading instead from my recently-departed Grandmother's prayerbook, 'Seed-Faith Living,' by her favorite Pastor, who watched over her as she died, Pastor Oral Roberts of Tulsa, Oklahoma.

I want to share some of those prayers with you.
If it doesn't help you to pray or something, maybe it'll just tell you the kinds of things I worry about and what I think, say, and do to help overcome them.

...But my ten minutes was up two minutes ago. I'll tell you later, I promise.

What did I tell you? Here I am to type out a bunch of theological quotes over a bowl of kimchi noodles and a lukewarm Coca-Cola.

WHEN YOU ARE OVERWHELMED WITH A PROBLEM
Lord, I come today praying a You taught us to pray, "Our Father which art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name... Thy will be done on Earth, as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread."
Lord, I have a great need. In fact, my need has become so large that it defies solution. It had brought me down to zero.
But in the midst of this problem, I look again to You as my Source. And I pray that Your will will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. That this day, Now, I will receive my daily bread - the solution to my problem.
For I ask this in the great and incomperable name of Your Son, Jesus of Nazareth - whose I am and whom I serve.

WHEN YOU ARE DEPRESSED
Lord, dispel from my mind all doubt of your goodness. All gloom and depression. Let the inflow of Your love and power bring strength, and peace, and joy without measure. May I feel you, now, this instant, that my spirit will be uplifted. That I may go forward in the comfort of Your abiding presence.
I pray in the name of Christ, my Redeemer. Amen.

WHEN YOU ARE FRUSTRATED
Heavenly Father, cast out of my heart those faithless fears that rob me of your peace.
Your Word says, "Be still, and know I am God." So settle me down, Lord. Bring a quietness in my spirit. Shut out the noise and confusion, the frustrations, the rat-race of this day. Until I am at peace before You, and You can be God to me.
I pray in Your name. Amen.

WHEN FACING THE UNKNOWN
Wonderful Lord, Your presence and love fill me. In the secret places of my soul, I hear Your voice saying to me, "This is the way, walk ye in it." And so, I walk in it.
As I pray, Lord, I wonder about the future. It's all so uncertain, and a bit frightening.
But my hope is strengthened by walking and talking with You. I cannot be afraid for long because my way is made clear by the shining light of Your presence. You are by my side; therefore, I am strong. I am full of faith because you are my Guide. You are my way. Now, Lord, guide me and I will be careful to give You the praise, for I asked this in the name of Christ my loving Savior. Amen.

Toil and Trouble.

Hey there, I know it's been a really long time, and I know I've not really been keeping my word to post here often, but in between stuff, I just don't have a whole lot of time; I'm lucky to spend and hour or two writing with Leigh or punching people in GetAmped 2 at all - speaking of which, I got an absolutely lovely skin of Skullgirls Double which is really neat; I confess Leigh wears it far better than I do - when she uses Chaos Heretic, her Nun's Habit merges seamlessly with the black hell-puddle it makes on the floor.

Really neat - if had some super grimdark accessories to go with it, I'd totally dish them out.
Unfortunately, there's none that particularly draw my attention; Black Rain might have been cool, I guess.
Cursed Cross is really neat, but I have it in -such- an ugly color. Its inherit is still pretty nifty.
I don't know - I'll think of something splendid for it, I'm certain.

Speaking further of GetAmped 2, I logged in today at 5:00 to find my room had been messied-up a bit, and the cherry on the sundae? A great big love-letter tacked to my wall.
You have no idea how good that gets you in the heart. Makes you feel delightful...

I've been stressing out over work. We've been getting these heft evaluation tests - if you fail one, you risk being classed-back, which typically comes with zero mercy - they simply spit you back to the very beginning and make you start IS-A all over again. It's getting into some very nitty-gritty stuff, and I'm being forced to go in after hours if I even want to come close to maintaining my 92% rating.

The Rating doesn't mean anything, which is just the opposite you would expect.
A Positive Eval is exclusively for the purpose of seeing if you're remotely worth giving a reasonable deployment to: if I don't want to be at sea for a couple months, a 92% mandatory...

But I'm being forced to learn the make-up of entire country's armies and it's just... Absolutely dreadful.
From Surface to Air platforms to fittings on planes, and how to identify them solely upon looks.
It's very, very stressful, to say the least...

I try and make it by through playing favorites; something I do everywhere.

My favorite Surface-to-Air Missile Platform?

Might I introduce you to the SA-5 Gammon.

It just looks very Powerpuff Girls. Like one of those Supervillain Weapons. 

I don't know. I need to quit stalling and get back to work.

For the record, I can't tell you anything about the Gammon, nor anything about other platforms.

I can't really tell you a thing about my job, save that I'm very, very busy right now and that the material is very densely packed.

I hope you're all doing well, and Leigh, if you're reading this, I love you immensely.