Quizzes, Resolutions, and a Mini-update.

Answer these questions with pictures you have saved on your computer:





How do you see yourself?:

What's your physical build like?:

How do you think others see you?:

What do you see in your dreams?:

What sort of fashion appeals to you?:

How do you feel today?:

What happens if everything goes wrong?:

What do you seek in a best friend?:

What's your ideal partner like?:

What are your hobbies?:

Describe your father with one image:

Describe your mother with one image:



What's your dream house?:

What's your dream car?:

Where do you see yourself in twenty years?:

What do you want to be when you grow up?:

What's a perfect world like?:

What's a bad day like for you?:

What are/were you like as a student?:

What are your political leanings?:

Skip ahead twenty years. What do you look like?:


Now that that's taken care of, my resolutions are...

Enroll.
Get to California at least once.
Get abs.
Get a car.
Have steady income.

Rather than pretend these are new goals, I'm giving them deadlines.

+‿+

I make a kind of lousy Smile.

Merry Christmas. Happy New Year's. Happy Birthday to Lina and Alex, too. And probably like, three other people I'm overlooking.

I'm standing at the edge of something great. The trouble is, I'm still standing at the edge. I'm tired of progress being impending and not being able to spring headfirst into everything again. I'm sorting through all sorts of red-tape and when I'm not sorting, I'm hoop-jumping. I want to have a day where I flop over exhausted again. I want to toil and know I'm moving.

I don't know. I'm just getting restless.

Christmas was odd for me as I celebrated alone. I hoofed it down to a cafe and had a slice of pumpkin pie and a cup of eggnog, and that was kind of it for me. It was subdued but really manageable. I don't think I have any real regrets with how I spent it. It rained a lot on Christmas, and I spent the evening running in it.

The snow's just arrived. When I'm stressed, I walk down the Lamplight District and watch the snow pass the old Victorian-era gas-lamps. It's pretty, and soothing. I'm a fan of street-lights because they were the symbol of safety and beauty in my childhood when playing in the dark, or just watching moths swarm them.

They have Street-Light Jungles, too - did you know?
I just saw a photo of one, and it blew my mind - I'd love to have one of those nearby.

I'm not certain about my resolutions. I'm certain about a few, but they're really just Goals that I'm going to give a deadline. I'll list them when I've got them.

I woke up with a ravenous craving for cucumber. I dumped a peeled half of one into a blender with a ginger-ale, pureed it, and strained it. It was just what I needed to start my day, and I had the other half for breakfast after dousing it in vinegar and peppering it.

I don't really know where the Smile thing came about. Hjalmar said I'd make an okay one, despite my short hair, so I kind of gave it a shot.

In the later hours of the day, I'm getting sullen. I might go to Lamplight and pretend I'm not noticing the prominence of Defense of the Ancients 2 and Skyrim amongst my friends.

Why Does This Keep Happening to Me?

Let me show you something kind of deserving on being called an eyesore.

It's been popping up repeatedly all throughout the past few weeks, and while I've been trying to
get it to go away, or appear to a lesser degree, I'm just not making any headway for myself.
Here it is:
Now, you may be thinking, "What's this? It looks like an ordinary photo."
And it is, largely, except for the time it's taken. This is me at 2:00 AM.

There has not been a day in the past week where I have gotten to bed earlier than 12:00 and not woken up somewhere in-between 1:00 and 5:00. Looking like this, at this hour, has become something of a regular occurrence and it's started to frustrate me a bit. I've been trying to ease back into my old sleeping habits, but naturally this has been a bit hard without coffee, brisk jogs, and such.

Now that I think about it a little, having trouble sleeping might be a result of the snow - I haven't been able to get to the Gym as frequently as I used to now that there's snow on the ground and it's miserable to jog there casually.

I can work on that, I guess.

I didn't really get a chance to get that other half of my Pumpkin post up yet, so in the meantime, I suppose I'll just blather on about another blog and card-games, but not in that order, because it's always best to end on a Shout-Out.

So, lately Emily and I have been parading around as Warrada, the Shadow and Hrada, Dark Ruler for a bit. These are likely names you don't particularly know, but I'm going to go on about them. When I was small, I had a friend named Eddie - Pokemon was cool, and was in a kind of lull between the release of the next series of Pokemon in Gold and Silver. We thought it was cool and all, but we couldn't collect the cards because, being stationed in Europe, they were released far later for us than Japan or America, and worse still, only in select outfitters, while we lived in a Military Base in Lakenheath that featured a tiny theater, a Burger King, and a Buyer's Exchange where you could buy Fatigues, Notebooks, Government-Issue Pens, and directional cones for your flashlight for steering planes on runways.

One day, Eddie shows up with these cards he won't let me see - they've got these cool whirl-patterns made on the back, and eventually he reneges and shows them off, like all little boys do. They were Magi-Nation cards, and they had the coolest artwork we'd ever seen. Naturally, we go all out, and soon we're collecting them left and right, and trading, and trying to draw our favorites, and when we heard they were releasing a Game-Boy Color game? Oh man, we were all over it. I began saving immediately - thirty dollars was a grand sum at the time, as most games were about twenty.

Magi-Nation was cool in that the Cards told a story - the story was slightly off-kilter in the game to accommodate the fact that the Core hadn't really be dreamed up beyond Zet and Korg at the time of its conception: Essentially, you've got these alien dreamers, not unlike Homestuck, sort of. They're driven off their home where they then organize into: Cald, Bograth, Weave, Naroom, Core, Orothe, Kybar's Teeth, Paradwyn, Nar, Andariel, Underneath and the Sands of D'resh.

Long story short, they basically organize into elements.

Naroom is the typical Hippy Group. Everyone lives in trees, and they have a big capital city where they conduct affairs and politics with regard to Cald, who kind of hates them and likes fire, and Weave, who is basically their removed cousin - Naroom likes Forests, Weave likes Grasslands. They were my favorite for a long while until I realized I could essentially have two favorites.

In the Magi-Nation Gameboy Color Game, you basically parade around as this atypical teenager with an atypical teenager name - Tony Jones - and you try to plug-up these titanic breaks in the divided dreamworlds where the Core - the respective 'Evil' group - has begun to spill out. The Core aren't exactly Evil so much as they are power-hungry and over-devoted to the power a villain named Agram discovered. In the Orothe Geyser, you meet Warrada the Shadow.
Warrada is one of two characters - the other being Hrada - who would really grow on me.

Essentially, she keeps appearing out of thin air and telling you to stay out of thing you don't understand, and even offers to bribe you by sacrificing the Geyser spewing out Core miscreants, so long as you stay out of further plans. Needless to say these plans involve other Geysers and their already-arrived leader who will totally curb-stomp you later, but whatever. She's a Naroom Shadow-Magi. Which is pretty sweet - she gets all the cool looking Core monsters and in addition to being educated, cunning, and nice to look at, she's also got a really cool story told through the cards.

Hrada - who eventually takes over The Core after the fall of Agram and the admitted stupidity of Korg (Zet's pretty brilliant, but Korg's stupidity so overshadows him he doesn't get much of a chance to show it, and they eventually flee the Core to make a bid for power in Bograth, which is essentially a corrupt swamp-region.) teams with Warrada to form the Dark Twins.

Hrada sees that Agram's failure was that he reached for everything at once. Hating Vash Naroom for essentially representing everything that the Core doesn't stand for, Hrada and Warrada essentially opt to Blitzkrieg their homeland of Naroom. And they succeed. They totally kill the place - with the exception of the Great Library, which Warrada spares to peruse for greater knowledge. Everyone flees and tries to organize to fight them off, but having successfully taken over the place, and working in slight unison with Zet and Korg, the Dark Twins essentially become -the- powerhouse for political and military action. Weave's leader even ceases speaking to Gia, who is a respected Elder between Naroom and Weave, because she spends far too much time trying to work politics with the Dark Twins.

Having successfully gained power, the Twins begin totally beating up on everyone else. Naroom flees to Cald and finally resolves their differences, presumably with the marriage of Barak, the Warlord and Tryn, the Daughter of Runes. Bograth totally owns Paradwyn, which is the Tropical Region, before ousting Korg and Zet for being idiots and reinstating their "Really Greatest Elder Ever", Olabra. They still work in mild cooperation with the Core. Bograth doesn't really care about too much.

At this point, everyone's getting pretty pressured. They can't beat the Core, which slowly begin to claim their more powerful Magi for themselves - most notably Korremar of D'resh, and Yaki and Sperri of Naroom. T'lok, the Traitor sells out Kybar's Teeth - a Mountain Range - to Hrada and suddenly the Dark Twins are unstoppable until the Nar decide that they want in, and basically beat back the Core into it's original position at the heart of the world.

It's pretty odd and long-winded but whatever. The cool thing is, they managed to tell an entire political and military uprising, complete with squabbles for power, through playing cards.

Also - they keep the characters very fleshed out: Warrada has a fear of Tithregars, which are thick-furred Nar dream-creatures. One of them bit her, and as such, the card does extra damage to Naroom Shadow Magi. Hrada is prone to being over-dramatic and premature - He'll often kill huge Dream Creatures, only to have them topple and crush his winning monsters.

I just want to show them off a little:

They just don't make characters like Warrada and Hrada anymore; I guess that's probably my nostalgia talking, but I haven't seen to many villains that well, win. And continue winning for awhile. And endure power-struggles. And still manage to be very human and flawed themselves, and have simple stories of their upbringing that aren't intentionally mopey. Warrada and Hrada don't have a tragic past that justifies them - just a will to prove their way is the best, and the forces to prove it - at least until the Nar involve themselves.

In conclusion and to wrap-up all my rambling, I'd like to tell you to check out This Little Number. It's Bashmak's new blog, and it could do with some eyes. In fact, it'll likely be better than mine, content-wise, because Bashmak's got a whole lot to offer - Piano work, better drawings, a significant lack of old Trading Card Games, and baking. Baking better than mine. Give it a page-through. Give it a bookmark! You won't regret it, but you will if you don't nurture it!


With all this said, I'm going to fold up - I have to admit, the formatting job I've done to include three pictures on one line of dialogue wasn't the least-messy bit of HTML I've worked with, and it's starting to make me nervous. I'll talk about more important political ideologies next time - I got into some pretty livid soapboxing, and it's worth repeating, perhaps.

Say Hello to the Pumpkin.

Beg your pardon?

What Pumpkin? I see no gourd here, only a beast of the feline sort. The notion that a kitten could be a gourd is quite frankly absurd, and I see no point in continuing this train of dialogue with you.

This is Pumpkin, the stray cat I feed on my way to the Gym. She's got a broken foot on one side where it looks like a car backed over it, but she's very affectionate and can still walk around on it and such. She's a sucker for ear-strokes and likes laying on the circuit-box for my apartment block.

I'm a sucker for strays.

I had a notion of what I wanted to talk about before going to Gold's Gym, but I've kind of lost it, so I'm going to ramble a bit. Maybe nostalgia a little - or a lot.

So, like five years ago, I got a little package of Kid Koala postcards. They were pretty cute, so I thought I'd mail one to my friend Cherilyn. I never got one back, but I hung up a little card of a wolf that my sister brought me from a field-trip she went on in the third grade. That was kind of my first affair with the postal system, and I suppose with collecting letters, too. I've got two full cork-boards of parcels and postcards, and wide-pinned letters, and address-labels off packages now. Yesterday, I got one from Agustin - it was a really long-running one; he basically kept a diary for a few days and then mailed me it. It made me really happy to get it. It was a very human letter.

I can't hang it up. I can't hang up Catherine's mooncake-package or Garrison's letter, either.
I just don't have enough room. I might have to buy a new cork-board just for the occasion.
I'm worried I'm going to have like, six of these things and moving's going to suck. And that when I'm in my crappy apartment, they're just going to be in the way, or obnoxious or something.

I don't know. I didn't know what a habit I was brewing half a decade ago.
I'm working on the other half of this post. Give me a moment, I'm swamped.
In the meantime, here's more Pumpkin:

I've Had a Glass or Two.

Nobody in my family drinks red wine, with the exception of myself, who can handle it with small sips like I handle black coffee and with a similar appreciation as well.

This bottle of red wine has been sitting in my fridge for awhile. It was a housewarming gift from the apartment across from mine or something. After a bit of thinking, I realized it'd saved me the trouble of picking up port or anything for that Balsamic Chicken recipe I'd posted here after meeting Liam's girlfriend, Luna.

I took a crack at it, and it came out really well - very mellow and fragrant. I used apples for the sweetness that the figs were supposed to impart; Winter is the queue for all the figs, even dried, to vanish here in New York, so the only way I was getting fig into this recipe was scraping the contents out of a fig newton or something. The flavor of apple is a little less subtle, but the texture is nice, and you can just spear the cuts right under the bite you're taking.

If there was one thing complaint-worthy, it's the smell of balsamic vinegar and red wine boiling. My apartment's real small, so now the whole place smells like a wino's vomit.
Like grapes and a sour stomach.

Here's a peek at it:
Now I've got this bottle of red wine just sitting in there, though. I've had a glass or two to help it vanish, but I don't think it's anything I'm going to be able to knock out on my own without finding another recipe that calls for it.

Maybe a borscht or something?
I don't know.

Yesterday was supposed to be a bad day - sometimes, shitty happenings just kind of spring up and expect you to drown under them: Emily's Brother's a shameless con-artist and just cost her and her Mother $3,000 in fraud. Shawn blinded himself in a seizure and he doesn't want me to bother with anything more than a card for Christmas, which feels kind of ominous, and after that, the oddest thing happened.

I heard something like a Tarzan call? One of those undulating "AAAaaaAAAaaaAAAaaaAAAaa-!" style ones? I didn't know what the hell it was. I opened my window. In the parking-lot, my deaf-mute neighbor was sobbing. I ran down the stairs to try to see what was wrong, but he got into his car and left.

It was the most heartbreaking sound I've heard in a long time. I don't think most people cry like that - they train themselves to be reserved or something, but that sound. It was like anguish. It was the most human sadness I've ever heard or seen.

It seemed like kind of a bad night. I couldn't think. I kind of bitched-out Alex and threatened to leave him on his own, which was really immature on my part. I just wanted to have less problems to listen to, and Alex has a lot of problems.

I apologized and I left to kind of recollect my head with a shower.
I'm awesome, and problems are temporary. Moreover? I don't just have me, I have the most frick-righteous girl to walk the planet next to me.

We've got double the trouble and twice the solutions - and there's always more than one way to solve a problem.

Life can't get me down. I'll thump life in the teeth.
Or shank it with a wine-bottle.

Shame and Potatoes.

I have a lot of shame with regard to my extended family. It has a few good, adult members and most of them are dying. I think it boils down to both Grandmothers, named Linda, Charles Bly, Charles Senior, and Geoff. Of that headcount, three are essentially dying.

Charles Senior, once keen on fishing and firing rifles despite his plagued memories of being shot in the Gulf War and witnessing a grenade kill children in Vietnam, is now essentially home-ridden after a quadruple-bypass heart surgery that clinically killed him three times. He said he had witnessed "Heaven, Hell, and a place that was Neither".

Linda Shannon is due to get her diabetes-deadened legs amputated. Her immediate family is so addicted to Lortab brand Hydrocodone that she actually has been prescribed them, but hides them and goes without them despite the immense pain of her dying body for fear of them being stolen from her and for fear of being portrayed as an addict.

Geoff's the newest addition. Let me tell you about Geoff. Geoff, which is pronounced "Jeff" and not "Gee-off", is kind of an odd person. He's essentially my ex-uncle. Geoff married my aunt, Temperlynn. My aunt's an odd person, though - she lives for the thrill of chasing married men, and Geoff was the first man she'd had affections for that -wasn't- married. After a brief stint with Geoff, my Aunt abandoned him shortly after the death of his mother to begin an affair with a married police officer named John.

John's very controlling. Essentially for fear of my Aunt being seen as anything more than an affair. She goes out of her way to raid Linda Shannon's home for food and money to try and out-do John's wife by being a better care-taker to his kids, who are quite simply spoiled.

Geoff was on hard times. He worked at a Gas Station that would later part ways with him when the economy got rough. My Aunt worked, but she quickly lost interest in him and that left him living on his dwindling savings. His mother loved him very much though, and left her furniture, savings, and dishware to Geoff after her passing. Geoff gave the dishware to me when I explained to him my intentions of escaping home, and it resides packed away with my dishcloths, knife-set, and a few appliances that I'd purchased on Christmas.

In an odd way, in her passing Geoff's mother kept him alive.

You already know a lot about Charles Junior. Charles Junior is my other uncle. Charles didn't exactly have a good life, and was in and out of police scrutiny and foster care with my mother, who looked out for him when he was small. In a similar situation to Geoff about a decade ago, he called my mother, desperate for a place to live when we were still on the Canadian Border. He came up for us on a train and lived in our basement. He was a brilliant handyman and enjoyed grilling chicken. He made many friends and held many jobs, all of which seemed promising, and all of which payed far more than my parents' did. He would work hard, get comfortable, get drunk, and then lose each of them.

Thankfully, he had a very good girl named Kayla who nursed him back up and got him on the right track. She was a little homely, but with very fair, wispy hair, a medical education, and dark, romantic eyes. She would laugh at his antics, like throwing snowballs at her, and even return them. She was very fun and kind to me as a child, and they shared an apartment that we sometimes visited.

He would later get drunk and wreck her house after breaking the door to get in. I don't think he ever payed off his damages to her belongings, but they did bar him from the area, and the police guarded Kayla after he threatened to cut her brake-cables, which he could've done as he worked part time as a mechanic before his drinking would ultimately kill that, too.

He sank into bitterness. He drank heavily, and finally he called us fuck-up children, and said that my parents' only claim to fame was raising us, which they did poorly. Prior to that, there had been mild excursion in the house, but they were always resolved with Charles apologizing and quietly going to bed. My parents would not stand to have their integrity as people questioned, and they ultimately told him to leave.

They were very good to him about it. They payed his ticket. They packed his bags for him. He left smiling, and he used the last of his savings to buy a laptop, from which he kept us posted about his budding new life.

Things were initially promising. He wrote from a bar and told us that he was ashamed for having bought a laptop, and planned to sell it. He said he had a job lined up for him, and we replied by telling him to get out of the bar. He did. He had a fairly good job at an auto-body shop, and he claimed to have quickly risen through the ranks there. He got into a relationship with a girl not even worth mentioning - he had a lot of those. Kayla, and another woman named Sammy, are the only ones who were legitimately kind and good people - and she later kicked him out of her house for getting into a drunken fight with her boyfriend, I believe.

Charles had stabbed her boyfriend, who had drawn a knife first. He was so scared after sticking him in the shoulder that he hid the knife and waited for the police to show. When he was certain he wasn't in trouble, he quietly gave the police the knife and apologized.

Charles was homeless. Geoff took him in.

Things were good for a bit, as they tend to be with Charles. Charles was comfortable and complacent, drinking heavily and stealing Geoff's Lortabs. Charles held a job. Soon, Geoff held one too, and everything was evermore promising.

Charles got drunk and fucked it up like most things in his life. He got into a drunken argument in the apartment lobby and they barred him from the area. A good person, Geoff refused to let Charles brave the oncoming winter homeless and essentially smuggled Charles into his home. After a bit, Geoff was laid-off and he quickly was running out of money caring for Charles too. Charles has always been a frivolous spender. I just mailed Geoff shoes recently. They were a hard buy because he needs support for his bad feet, and he's a size-fourteen. He said he needed them though, and he couldn't really afford to spring for them.

Charles came into Geoff's apartment while Geoff was purchasing groceries. He was drunken and thoroughly drugged and tried to start a fire in the fireplace without opening the flue. A few pieces of furniture caught fire. Charles put them out, but the damage in fire and smoke was done, and he'd essentially ruined the memento furniture that Geoff's mother had left him.

Geoff came home to a smoked-out house full of ruined memories, and was livid. He confronted Charles about it, who answered by stabbing Geoff four times with a serrated steak-knife.

He didn't have remorse. He was so violent when the cops responded that it took four officers and three deployed Tazers to subdue him. Even in the car, Charles kicked the passenger window out, to which the Officer is said to have quietly said, "Boy. You don't even know how much trouble you're in."

Geoff was rushed to the emergency room where he is right now.
He doesn't even know shoes are on the way.

Charles was ushered out in cuffs, screaming threats that he'd murder the officers.

Linda Shannon stands by Charles asserting that it was self-defense despite Charles stabbing Geoff in the back. She just wants to see her son in a positive light, but it's starting to grate a bit.

This is the kind of stuff that makes me want to amputate myself from my extended family.

I wasn't feeling so hot to trot today for obvious reasons.
I know I still have Emily, so the day can't be as bad as it seems, but a stabbing makes for a real shame of a day-after, and nobody's an island.
I didn't eat much, but I did prepare a potato.

Emily's a very meat and potatoes kind of girl, so I'd been looking for an exciting way to prepare them for her. This way is called "Fanning" a potato:I won't get into it. I don't feel like it. I'll just tell you that you should put two chopsticks on either side of the potato to make sure you don't cut all the way through it. Cook it in foil with parsley and butter.

Triumphant Return.

So it's been awhile. I'm back from my gig, and I'm $300 richer, which is really only $50, if I pay Catherine upfront. I'm not sweating it, though...

Prior to postage, I'm still holding at about $700 even if I pay Catherine, so I'm fine.

I expected to return with lots more pages of the Universal Almanac and cool Krmmstoppy shenanigans, but my mouse broke during one of my lunch-breaks and as such, I actually spent most of my free time at work writing letters to you guys, which you'll receive soon, Postal Service willing.

I'd write more but I'm so exhausted from my final day - I'll tell you about that later.

Breadwinner Extraordinaire.

I'm going to be out for awhile while I work out of home for a bit. I've seasonal employment for about two weeks, and expect to bring in about three-hundred dollars from the whole gig.

Once I have everything ironed-out, I'll see about setting up my laptop, but if I can't, expect mail, or something - I have some holiday cards that have been stuck on my desk for awhile now.

Last night was the first stick-around snow of New York for me. It's very cold, and the flakes were super thick and fluffy like the stuffing for pillows. It was like someone tore open a gigantic pillow in the sky, and it looked something like this:Also, I should've had a Sailing Passport added to that cover interior, but I've had a bit of a problem. I'm not the best with Photoshop, as much as I like working with it, and had gotten a bit layer-happy. I had typed-up the entirety of a license for travel aboard Danneskjold Shipworks' vessel, "The Gypsy Shadow", and then added Krmmstopp's signature, which I was rather pleased with. I had rasterized everything but had forgotten to merge it all so that I could paste it into the cover, and secure it with a fake black button when I closed the image (Which I hadn't saved - good thinking there, Zack.) and promptly went to plop it in the middle of my page only to get:

"FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT IN THE TERMINATION OF CONTRACT AS WELL AS A FEE NO LESS THAN THREE-HUNDRED MARKS OF ANY GOLD-BACKED CURRENCY.

I HEREBY STATE THAT I UNDERSTAND THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF DANNESKJOLD SHIPWORKS AND TRAVEL ABOARD ITS VESSELS.

X______"

Just words. No cool bill. No signature. I had only gotten the bottom layer of the contract.
Bluh.

Anyways, I'm off to go work my ass off. Winnin' that bread like a champ.
I've only two more seasonal gifts to arrange. I'm just about done.

I've got to buy one copy of Atlas Shrugged for John, and browse skirts with Hjalmar, because that Holiday Layaway shit is totally a gimmick.

...I guess technically, I still need to wire $250 to Catherine to pay off half a loan, but that's not really a gift, because if it were a gift, she wouldn't let me do it.

I'll miss you guys - you know who you are.

Imperial Priority Rail.

I plan to weather the edges a little, later, or at least texture them so that they look clipped. This is one of three little things that will be pinned into the Universal Almanac, just adjacent to the dedication-page, where there is simply a poem:

I chanced upon a winding road
As far as the eye could see
And danced upon its cobblestones
Charting all that could be.

Please glance upon these findings
Old and new and far in range
And advance the knowledge in these bindings
Should it and I become estranged.

I imagine she would like someone to continue the book in her stead, should her illness claim her life, which is a very real possibility for Krmmstopp, and I'd like the back of the cover with travel-tickets and the like, because I imagine her using a lot of travel cartels to get around without aggravating her symptoms, and often having to present them. It also makes the Almanac feel like a cross between a Diary and an Encyclopedia. While they're all tedious and informative, they're written in first person and I think that helps breathe some of Krmmstopp herself into the pages. And when I can't be subtle, small pieces like rail-passports reveal things about her that you wouldn't know without me having explained them, like her first name, or if you hadn't read the prior posts, her illness and its crippling affects.

I'm working on several other pages that will be in the Almanac, entitled "On Life Archaic", "Rudimentary Sigilcraft for the Discerning Magician" and a schematic listed as "Industrial Brewing Apparatus for Potion and Conventional Beverage." I also have a collection of aged maps that I'm working on incorporating into the Almanac as a part of its atlas. If I do, they will be folded but textured to look thick, and have keys printed on the pages that precede them.

In less Universal Almanac news, I've grown just a bit disillusioned with a theory-board I've been posting on. Of the three posts I've made, they've all come into heavy fire, not for their merit or logic, but for their superficial contents, which bothers me a bit. Perhaps I'm growing too used to more scholarly company? All the same, I think I'll abandon my endeavors there, as they are largely unnecessary and not bearing any fruit in discussion.

I've largely settled my holiday purchases early.
I'm currently handling plans to visit a very glum friend of mine, as well.
I'm a little leery about that, and think I might try to make it a one-day trip. I'll cook for him and leave. He's had some sexual connotations that he's expressed and that I've shot down, but I think he needs the company of someone offline for a change. Someone to show up and say, "Hey, remember me? I'm that guy who looks out for you."

I don't know - it feels like a waste of time and effort, and it bothers me that the only "Me" purchase of the holiday is a trip to someone who's company unsettles me a little.

But he's a good kid, and strong for weathering all the garbage that he puts up with.

My seasonal work begins Friday, and will last for a little under two weeks.
When it is settled, I only need to attend a four hour seminar and finalize my college enrollment.

After this, I will be independent to the highest degree that one may ask, and I will be able to move into a college dormitory or apartment of my choosing. Depending on one's patience with me, I may be changing states as well. I don't mind this, and can do it for the paltry expense of a General Expense Stipend if I'm willing to be uncomfortable for three days.

I am.

I'll write more later, I have to get to the Gym, and then clean a bit. This place is a pigsty because everyone's sick and doesn't have the presumed stamina to pick up after themselves. Thankfully, I have some very great music to handle everything to.

D.B. Krmmstopp's Universal Almanac.

It's been a very long time since I've had time to do a proper update - since I made Amandine for Hjalmar, I believe. It's been a really messy few weeks. I'm a very good driver, but I'm nervous at night, and as it's Winter and "night" has come to mean "four o'clock", I'm perpetually out in the dark, spinning my wheels while people with their brights on blind me from behind in my side-mirrors. "Nervous" also means that I try to stop at every yellow light, which might mean slamming my foot down to break if I'm cruising along at forty miles an hour or so.

Operating machinery in the dark doesn't seem like the kind of thing to be intrepid about, but it's what I need to do if I hope to become a better driver. My apologies to any of you I maim on the way to the supermarket, I'm just trying to get better at something I'm not very smooth with. If I get a Yugo, I've got to be seamless, as to never risk breaking its tiny little obsolete body.

A lot of crap has transpired since my last entry, which is why it's been so long:
I've been trying to twist Alex's arm to try and get him to contact Turning Point, a local shelter, so that he and his mother will not be homeless, should his grandparents' patience with them as tenants slowly wear thing again. It never hurts to be prepared, even though he asserts that they've a home now that his Mother and grandmother have patched things up. Sometimes, truces are short-lived, you know?

Agustin and Patrick are slowly befriending each-other oncemore. It's a slow process, and it's just begun - I think it's largely their focus with this presumed status of "Boyfriend" and "Girlfriend". Frankly, I think if they were to offer the same care and interest they shared before their falling-out some time ago, and mutually disregarded the titles associated with those emotions, they would both be happier people. I'm also trying to keep their tempers in check - they're both very good and kind people, but when one gets angry, the other gets indignant, and angry in return. Instead of two calm people resolving their differences - which should be easy, as they know so much about each-other - they wind up with synchronized volcanic eruptions, and then head separate ways for a good while. I've already tried to stress what they have, and the disregard for title. Now I've just got to sow seeds, and hope they have the tools to recognize when they're close to a melt-down and need to take a moment to recompose.

Christmas is around the corner. I've been saving diligently. I was expecting to spend a whole lot more than I did. Which is just around one-hundred fifty dollars. I plan to pay half of Emily's loan from Catherine - we'll handle that expense together. That'll leave me with two-hundred fifty dollars to spare, which will become eight-hundred fifty if I don't get any scholarships in upon my entry to college. I feel like a fairly good budget-holder, but this is also all planning. Scheming, I suppose. Meddling.

People aren't-

Shit, I actually forgot to account for someone I was buying for. Maybe two, even.
I haven't bought them gifts as I've been a bit clueless as to what to buy them. I'll work on that later, and then crunch the numbers. Kindly disregard that "I feel like a fairly good budget-holder" bit, because I'm woefully premature. Son of a bitch.
Alright. That's a little stressful, but I'll just list it all out and see what I can do.
Composure regained. Shazam.

In recent news, my Uncle - that is, Charles, the drunken one - has tried to kill himself. He's been a hot mess as of recent, because he was out racing his truck like a moron and blew out his engine. It was a loaned vehicle and not really his, but he had no way to get to work, so instead of hitching with a friend or something, he goes out and gets shitfaced in his despair, and then gets fired for sleeping-in with a hang-over. Getting fired causes him to get into a fight with this girl he's dating - who's frankly a good candidate for appearing of Jerry Springer - and he promptly says he's not going to marry her, and they part ways. No car, no job, no girl. He decided he'd off himself, and ran to the hospital claiming to have ingested an entire bottle of sleep-aids. As it would turn, he was just really boozed-up and talking nonsense.

If you can't be a good example, I suppose that makes you a terrible warning. I'd better stay well enough alone from intoxication. Perhaps a drink here and there, but no getting drunk for me.

In closing, I've rolled-up all my character designing as of late into one character, "Krmmstopp". She's a very Jean Marat kind of character. She's got a mess of shoulder-length curls and is confined to a gas-mask style respirator, but as I don't see myself hop-stepping to any RPG in particular, I've not begun fleshing her home or family out much.
She suffers from a condition that I've decided will be affectionately dubbed "Rustlung", where in her blood has trouble both picking up and parting with Oxygen, which leaves some of it oxidizing and some of it stagnating. Her muscles have begun to atrophy, her immune system is weak. Dull bruises and discolored splotches. You get the gist of it.

Well, basically, instead of just accepting the hand she's dealt, and confining herself to her wax-cloth overcoat and respirator, she decides that the adventurous life she wanted is still very much possible, if only through a flexible perspective. She begins writing the "Universal Almanac". I imagine it to be this kind of...First-person Wikipedia. This sickly woman's efforts to compile all the knowledge, understanding, and information she possibly can before her death. Culture, Religion, Dance, Combat, Schematics, Recipes, Language, Alphabets, Magic, Chemistry, Alchemy, Maps, Politics, Etiquette, Medicine, Science, Physiology, Psychology, Anatomy, Dialogues from Famous People...

All sorts of stuff. Anything she can get ahold of. Stuff sometimes she doesn't understand or can't explain. Just compiling it in the Universal Almanac, tediously and meticulously from her bathtub, where she spends her evenings without her respirator at a typewriter, processing insane loads of information at a time, and sometimes sketching charts and diagrams.

I wanted her to be from a sea-side town, which is the sole reason there's a boat and ship-wheel on the cover. In addition, I've decided she will occasionally contact people who are experts in fields she does not understand, hoping to gain information with regard to it. If the person complies, she lists them in the bibliography as members of the Atelier Maiden's Plot.

I like that title, as it just means something akin to "Scheming Girl's Workshop". I figured it was very apt, and that she would initially be the sole member, but also pass out small cards of membership, telling people that they've just contributed to the written collective of the world's knowledge, and should hold onto that slip of paper, as it will one-day recognize them as a face in history.

Tragic, Ambitious, Ugly, Beautiful, Intellectual, but Dreamy...

There's a lot of duality with Krmmstopp, and I think that will make her very versatile.
I want to begin making fake "pages" for the almanac, fervently documenting mundane or at times, outright fantastic and outlandish things.

But here is the cover.

It's a Very Special Day.

Happy Birthday, you.

Plat du Jour.

So it's been awhile since I've done one of these. The plate of the day is Amandine, and it was recommended by Hjalmar. It's a Romanian dessert, and while mine looks suspiciously like any other slice of chocolate cake would, it's glazed with dark-chocolate, filled with a cocoa butter-cream, and soaked in a cappuccino-flavored syrup.

You are gaining weight just by looking at it.

It was thoroughly eaten by my sister, but not me as I was ill at the time, and couldn't taste anything; I think this is largely a product of the unseasonably cold weather that's been plaguing Upstate New York for awhile now - it actually snowed last night, though nothing stuck. It's nice, until your feet get cold. If your feet get cold and you've already taken a shower, you'd better deal with it, Chump, because you're having perpetually-iced feet until you sleep.

I believe I've found work in the form of a man with an extraordinarily thick Jewish accent. His name is Dominick, and he operates a local Pharmacy. I had gone in to apply for lousy clerk-work with a man named Niles, and he essentially said, "How's about I dial up the Pharmacy, and see if they can help you?"

I explained to Dominick that I would be limited hours so long as I didn't own a car, but that I was content to walk if need be, to his Pharmacy. He said he was willing to accommodate me and let me work weekends, which leaves me with some time to work a second job, possibly Bayberry Uniforms who I am meeting with next week, if I would like to.

It's kind of unfortunate that all of this good favor hits me just as I prepared to shack-up with Meiling to play Ragnarok Online in my spare time, but I can't complain. Perhaps, with employment sorted and all going well, I can feel free to be a bit more generous with mail, and that's more than hopping about as a Taekwon would net me.

I've upped my weight at the Gym a little. I'm slowly inching towards my goals.

It was also John and my Mother's birthday last night. I treated my mother to Sushi, and I'm treating John to a Cucumber Soda I've been saving for him.

I also won a Cooking Contest. I feel very esteemed. I won with Chili, which is not usually my favorite thing to prepare, but I prepare it well.

In closing, I've been on a bit of a PREPOSTERONE kick. It's rather troublesome, as I've begun to lose my polish in favor of my sexual appetite. I'm trying to keep it managed, and I've dodged a lot of oncoming advances...

...It feels really good to do that. It reassures me that I'm thoroughly and happily enchanted by my special someone.

All Day Long.

Don't stop, work it while you're on top. Call the cops.

I've spent the majority of the morning in a Gym, working out to this particular track. I dug it up after three or four years - It used to be my macho play-boy cousin, Eric's, mantra.

I'm shamelessly singing it, sweaty and feeling attractive.
This was supposed to be my "relaxation day", but it's really more of my "Do what I wan" day. In compensation for missing my work out yesterday, I've upped my weight. After about three weeks or so, I'll up it a final time, and be at the goal weight I'd been hoping to lift.

I've been devoting a lot of time to troubled people, and only recently have I become aware that it's starting to sour my relations with a few people. Talking with Emily and Catherine, I've decided to take a day to do everything I want for a change. And it's been a very bitchin', PREPOSTERONE day.

I've finished all my sewing, I've had a good meal for the first time in probably...Four days or so. As in, a meal that wasn't chock-full of cheese and sodium. I'm planning on teriyaki something later tonight, unless I can find figs for cheap - I'm a little leery about spending more money, though, as I have to afford postage later today to get my sewing projects out.

Hjalmar's been learning to play the Piano something fierce, and has just finished learning to play the Waltz of the Lazy Chair Room, from Castlevania. It's pretty awesome. Perhaps more awesome than JC Chasez's pelvic-thrusting. I don't know how to add those tiny little media-players to play an uploaded file, though. I don't believe Upload Video works for it, so in the meantime, here's a Link to it, so you can marvel at Meiling's fingerwork.

After finally flattening out the entirety of a coin, I tried to beat it into a sort of wire-frame and curl it around itself. It promptly broke into pieces beneath my tiny mallet, so I've begun working on a different project, making Rings out of wood.
How to go about element-proofing it - topcoat, varnish, or something - has yet to really leap out to me. It doesn't really matter, though, because I don't want to work on them today, so you'll just have to deal.

I've been devising these little groups lead by two warring sisters, one a Witch and one a sort of blind Crusader-person. They both have very like-minded goals to help people, but they have almost different intentions. Different ways they go about it. The big picture's the same, but everything else is different. I'd like to call them Fool's Abbey and The Coven Atelier.
It's all generic planning though, stirred up from a look at some older Harvest Moon games. The Witch Princess and her constant arguing with the Harvest Goddess.

I've recently been given this little hat that has a brim for holding pins - it's naturally pretty good for my bottle-cap ones. I've got one from Boylan Bottling Co. and plan on getting two more, from Curiosity Cola and Fever Tree Soda; I'm looking towards Fever Tree first, because it comes in Bitter Lemon, which is essentially Carbonated Chen, and as such, I imagine I can get it out to a few Touhou fans for giggles, and lewd jokes about watersports and such. I hope you like lemon soda, Green-Eyes.

In closing, here's a comic whipped up by a friend of mine, Aaron. He's known me for quite awhile, and has taken to making these comics in Walfas' Character-Poser thing, mostly cataloging events in his life and stories about people he knows. He took the time to make one about me, and my notoriously bad puns - Enjoy it:

Because I Have This Kind of Spare Time.

Here is a fucking massive quiz.

What time are you starting this quiz?: 9:38 AM.
Do you like quizzes?: I wouldn't bother with one if I didn't.
What is your age?: Nineteen.
What is your gender?: Male.
What is your ethnic group?: I'm a Caucasian Dutch-Italian-Indian mutt.
What is your Location?: Liverpool, in Syracuse, New York.
What is your Eye color?: Brown.
What is your IQ?: I'm not certain - I'm scholastically-distinguished, if that counts.
What are / were your normal school grades?: I was in the top quarter percentile. A's.
Do / Did you like school?: Looking back, a regimented lifestyle was a good thing.
What grade are you in?: I've graduated, and am waiting for the next College opening.
Are you in college?: Not yet.
Will you be honest about this question, and ALL of the questions?: Sure.
What is your favorite TV show?: I catch Tosh.0 on very rare occasion. My family likes it so it's a rare unity-moment.
Cartoon?: I kind of dig Tom and Jerry.
Would you download music?: I seafaring-bandit all of my music.
Do you know where you are?: I'm in a second-story apartment, in New York. In a chair.
Do you like this quiz so far?: I knew full-well what I was getting myself into.
Do you have YIM?: No.
Do you know what YIM is?: Yahoo Instant-Messenger.
Do you like The Sims or The Sims 2?: No, but I had a good time playing Sim City with Liam a long ways back.
What kind of shoes do you have?: A pair of old black dress-shoes, some annihilated work-shoes, and a pair of tennis-shoes for the gym and jogging.
Sneakers or Sandals?: Sandals.
Do you call it... Soda Pop, Coke, The name of the drink, Pop, Fizzy Water?: I call it soda.
Would you drink Underage?: I have. It was pretty unexciting, though I didn't get drunk.
Are you a vegetarian?: I was for a good span of my life.
Are you a healthy person?: I work out, and on occasion, I eat well. I take a multivitamin in the morning, too.
Do you excercise often?: I attend the Gym every other day, and sometimes on the day I skip depending on if I'm feeling mopey and need to be active.
do yuo typo ofetn/ : It depends on how well I've slept.
Could you read that? : Yes - "Do you typo often?"
When did you last look at the sky?: Just now, to give this a good answer. I's overcast.
When did you last go outside?: Feeding the stray cat that wander by my house.
When did you last eat a banana?: It's been awhile. Probably a month or two.
When did you last scream at your parents?: On my first driving exam.
Are you a daredevil?: I get shit done, but I'm safe about it.
Do you hate the south?: I don't like the temperatures, crime or the Jingoism associated with it. Other than that, the South's fine.
Do you hate the North?: The North's okay, so long as you're not in a small town.
Are you religious?: I pray and meditate on occasion. I own a rosary.
Do you think I'll judge you based on your answers?: I don't know who made this.
Are you a blonde?: I'm a brunette.
Are you a dumb blonde?: I'm a brainy brunette.
Do you type in perfect sentences?: You bet I do.
or do u tyep like this lol: No.
0R wOr$3 DO U 7Yp3 lIk3 t#!$?????!/1/1/1/1: No.
Do you judge those that type like that?: Yes. Like a seething text-bigot.
Do you judge people?: Yes, but I typically get a good summation of their personality and upbringing first.
Do you make fun of people?: In good humor, I do.
Are you planning on taking over the world?: My Buddhists are infiltrating the ranks of your puppet oligarchy as we speak.
Have you taken over the world?: As. We. Speak.
Are you in shape?: I've got arms, shoulders, and pecs-in-the-making.
Are you fat?: No. Though I could use a firmer rear. Squats don't help much.
Would it be all over if you get fat?: No, but I'd be desperately trying to fix it so I felt SEXUALLY CONFIDENT.
Is it all about American Idol?: You've mistaken me for my little sister.
Do you like American Idol?: I don't follow it.
Do you want to kill your neighbor?: My neighbor's deaf - he's pretty cool, actually.
What is your favorite kind of clothing?: Layered, button-up, scarf-covered Winter fashion.
When did you last run around?: Two days ago at 1:00 AM when it rained.
Do you cry often?: A bit more than usual as of late - I've been getting sappy and sentimental.
When did you last prank your neighbors?: When I was like, ten.
Would you prank your neighbors?: Yeah - my friend Eddie and I blocked their toilet-drainage pipe with stones, when I lived in England.
Would you rather party, or be alone?: It's easier to dance badly in a crowd.
Are you friendly? Or all alone and misunderstood?: It's best to be forthcoming, but keep a bit of mystery for that someone-special.
Or just hate people?: I have bouts of snarky humor, but that's about it.
Are you racist?: No, though I joke about being White and doomed to racial-disapproval.
Homophobic?: Hardly - prior to meeting someone in particular, I was convinced I might swing that way.
Stereotypical?: Not too terribly - I mean, I suplex the expectations of my Zodiac.
Do you hate the above?: I don't hate stereotypical people, but they're not interesting.
Do you just lick the filling off of Oreos?: I'm not fond of Oreos.
Do you think Pokemon is about the dumbest thing ever?: Audino and Mienfoo, represent.
Do you think Pokemon is about the coolest thing ever?: Pokemon's okay, but it's been awhile. I don't play with people, so it gets old quick.
Do you dress or act certain way to fit in?: I keep dapper - clean-cut people are seen as respectable just about anywhere.
Do you think this is stupid?: I could be doing something better...
Type your name with your eyes closed: Zack.
Do you have pop ups blocked?: Yes, though my blocker's mediocre at best.
Do you have a friend name Kelly?: No.
What is your favorite Shampoo?: There was this really good Rosemary and Mint stuff I found a long time ago, but it's since vanished.
Conditioner?: I use Just Brunette - it was on clearance.
Who are you obsessed with?: I'd like to look like Larry Butz.
Do you have any obsessions?: Yes.
If so what?: Staying out of social-debt. Mailing people. Stuff like that.
Are you addicted to caffeiene?: No, but I'm addicted to Club Soda, kind of.
Do you consider yourself good looking?: I like how I look, yeah.
Do you have self confidence?: You know it.
...Too much self confidence?: It depends on the occasion - sometimes I overshoot it.
Do you have low self esteem?: Sometimes. I'm convinced I'll always be a shitty driver.
High self esteem?: Yes.
WAY TOO MUCH self esteem?: No - I know when to be humble.
When did you last eat an apple?: I grated it into curry to sweeten it.
What color was it?: Red.
Do you have a laptop or desktop?: I have a lap-oven netbook.
Are you on your OWN computer?: Yes, I got it in preparation for college on Black Friday.
Are you old enough for a job?: Yes.
Do you have one if you're old enough?: I had one. Now I'm looking for one.
Are you to lazy to get one?: I've got a conference with a Human Resources Manager later today.
What kind of music do you like?: Chiptuney stuff, Jazz, stuff I've gathered through people I know.
What is your favorite band?: I have a lot of DJ Sharpnel, but I don't know if he's my favorite.
What is a band you HATE?: Nickleback.
Name a random person you know in real life: Mike, my deaf-mute neighbor.
Name a random person you know from online: Hjalmar.
Name a random word: Wallop.
What are you doing?: Fixing to take a break to talk to Onni.
Whats on your mind?: How I need to finish my roleplay-arc with Onni and meet with Renee.
Do you watch south park?: No.
Are you weird?: I think weird's become normal. I'm pretty mundane, but it strikes people as odd, when I would've been boring in like, the 1940's.
Are you daring?: I step up to the plate when nobody will, sometimes. I think I'm a little daring.
Are you sane?: Yeah, but I was a little unstable when I was young.
Do you have any pets?: Two cats and an aging dog. Napoleon, Gwenny, and Birdie.
Have you ever been to a karaoke bar?: Yes. We sang Chop Chop Master Onion's bit from Parappa. And the Pokemon themesong.
Do you know Martial Arts?: No.
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Yes, but it's usually a bad idea.
Do you believe in miracles?: yOu KnOw It BrOtHeR hOnKhOnKhOnK!
Do you like our president?: I think he's done a whole lot of nothing, but I respect him for starting health-care reform. People shouldn't choose between rent and health.
Are you home alone?: Yes.
Would you love someone?: I love a lot of people.
Are you married?: I'm a little young to be doing that just yet.
Are you keeping in mind to be honest?: Yes.
Are you afraid?: I've got some concerns.
Would you kiss someone of the same gender?: I could do it, yeah.
Are you a virgin?: Yes. I'm saving myself for someone dear.
Do you like food?: I love cooking, and should keep a recipe book.
Name a song you can relate too: "Måndagsbarn" by Veronica Maggio.
Name a fun song!: "Dead Girls' Bebop" off that IOSYS bit.
Can you sing?: I do, on occasion, but I'm not too grand at it. Ask Hjalmar.
Name another person you hate: I really dislike my Aunt, Tina, and Robert for putting up with her.
What color are the walls of the room you are in?: Off-white.
What color are the floors of the room you are in? Beige carpet.
Is someone mad at you?: I think Emmanuel probably has a gripe with me.
Do you ever get mad at someone often that is your friend?: Sometimes my friends frustrate me when they're upset but don't want to take initiative to change anything.
Are you toxic?: I'm a pretty okay influence.
Are you spicy?: I'm more like Soy Sauce - I'm kind of versatile.
Have you ever dyed your hair?: One pink, once dark-red. It was a bad idea.
Do you highly care about what those who aren't your friend's think about you?: Not in particular. If they can't pick me out of a crowd, they don't have much sway.
Do you love yourself?: I like me.
Did you take that the wrong way?: Yes, because that was clearly a masturbation quip.
Do you take everything the wrong way?: No.
Do you have an optical or standard mouse?: I use an optical.
Do you remember the last time you had jelly beans? No, but I remember I liked the Buttered Popcorn flavored ones.
Have you ever been on a game show?: I was in a thing called Fair Factor, where they made me eat gross things for cash, and solve puzzles.
Ever been on TV?: Once for getting hurt, once for studying law.
Ever been out of your house?: All the time.
Ever met a celebrity?: Not really. I guess I've been to a concert before, though.
Name someone you love: Hjalmar, Liam, Emily, Catherine, John, Aaron.
What are you wearing?: My work-out clothing. I slept it in last night.
Do you have pride in anything that other people would judge you for?: Yes.
Have you registered to vote?: Yes.
Are you an awkward person?: I can say words like "Bludgeon" in public, much to my little sister's distress.
Are you stupid?: In a few areas. Namely mathematics.

What are your opinions on:

War: Try to bring peace by the sword - it's extraordinarily temporary.
Peace: Respectable and Scholarly. Athens had it right, way back when.
Love: If your "Meaning of Life" equation is short love, you're doing it wrong.
Partying: Debauchery isn't my thing, nor is drunkenness, but I am a fan of bad dancing.
Dancing?: Again, I am a fan of bad dancing.
Food!: I can whip up some pretty awesome shit with $30 and a pan.
Anorexia: I'll take curves over a skeleton any day of the week.
Your life?: I could have it worse. I need to apply myself harder to a few spots.
Religion?: As I see it, so long as you're kind to people, most Faiths want you in their respective heaven.
Athiesm?: I can dig it, so long as you're not a whiny, bitter cynic.
Shop often?: I like to browse, but I have a tiny budget, so I don't buy much.
Love often?: You know it.
Cheat on someone who thinks you are their soulmate?: I don't even know if someone thinks I'm their soulmate. I hope so, but no. I haven't cheated.
Have good morals?: I'm like to think so. I've got a good moral compass.

Are you...

Someone who loves animals?: I worked at an Animal Shelter, so yes.
Someone who sits around all day?: I get shit done.
Someone who spends 8+ hours on their computer?: I don't count. I think I'm short of that.
Someone who has a life?: Yes, and I lead it pretty well.
Someone who has a cell phone?: No.
Someone who is secretly in love with a friend?: Yes.
Someone who believes in magic?: I think belief can spring forth profound results, yes.
Someone who believes everything happens for a reason?: Largely, but I don't get why mosquitoes and syphilis exist.
Someone who believes in life after death?: I'm not real concerned about it, really.
Someone who is fun!: I can be a stick in the mud, sometime, but I save the show with a few bad puns, too.

What brand are / is....
Your atheletic Shoes? Nike.
Your casual Shoes? A really, really, really beat up pair of black K-Swiss.
Your dress shoes?: An old pair of Sketchers.
Your sandals?: They're brandless two-dollar ones.
Your favorite kind of soda?: Club Soda. It saves my waistline.
The drink you drink most of?: Club Soda.

Random!

What kind of books do you like?: Classics.
What is your favorite series of books?: I liked Ayn Rand's Anthem, and Atlas Shrugged.
Do you drink Orange Juice?: Yes. Dane the Photoclerk gave me a good tip, mixing it with Club Soda to get a pretty slick drink.
Are you a sibling?: Yes
Same age?: I'm the Eldest.
Are you a twin?: No.
Would you watch a horror movie?: I have, and do.
Does your ear itch?: No.
Does your head ache?: No.
Have you taken any breaks during this quiz?: I'll take one now, and talk to Onni.
Can you type fast?: I type 64 WPM. I know, because I took my mother's typing exam for her.
Dooo yoooou tyyyyyyyyyype sloooooooow?: A word a minute's pretty good.
Was that annoying?: Makes me feel like I'm reading Vriska-rants.
What kind of computer do you have?: It's a Gateway Netbook, with an Intel Atom processor. I run Windows 7.
Are you wearing socks?: I'm currently barefoot.
Would you feel awkward around a satanist?: Maybe just a little, but I wouldn't show it.
Would you feel awkward around a christian?: No.
Would you feel awkward around an athiest?: No.
Would you feel awkward around anyone?: Yes.
What is the weather like RIGHT now?: It's overcast and kind of dreary.
When did you last bleed?: I spit blood this morning because I burnt the roof of my mouth eating curry.
Do you have braces?: No.
Do you wear contacts?: No.
Do you wear glasses?: No.
When did you last go to school?: Last year.
When did you last hug someone?: I think I gave my sister one after getting her a soda. She's not feeling too well.
Who was it?: My little sister.
Are you bootylicious?: ...It's not tone. If you like pudgy ass, sure.
Are you mature?: I'd like to think so, but I did just say "pudgy ass".
Are you immature?: On occasion. Usually intentionally to poke fun.
Do you like to party?: It's an awkward social affair.
What is a turn off?: Bad breath, ignorance, and poor self-esteem.
Do you have language problem?: I swear when I'm startled. A little bit.
What's zee quiz like so far?: It's alright.
How's life?: It goes.
What is your hairstyle?: Extraordinarily shorter than usual.
How does your hair look right now?: Oiled and teased, like Sanae after a first date.
Do you have clear skin?: It's clear but it gets aggrivated when I shave.
Are you flawless?: Hardly.
Do you realize that at least one person loves you?: Yes.
Do you love someone so much you would die for them?: I think I could help more people alive, but I'd risk it.
If you would die tomorrow, what would you do today?: I'd write a quickie memoir, and I'd start driving west.
Do you live like everyday is your last day?: As much as I should, I don't.
What time is it?: 10:54.
Name something TOTALLY free: Sanae. Zing.
If you looked to your left, what would you see?: My notebook, my keys, my wallet, my weight-lifting gloves, a candle, a lighter, a set of headphones, an empty Club Soda, one roll of packing tape, and a tin of thumbtacks.
What do you love?: Dear people, Mail, rain.
What don't you love?: When I can't fix a problem, or I'm stuck being uneventful.
When did you last write something with a pen?: I scribbled out "Contact Law Advisories" off my to-do list.
Have you ever been on stage?: Yes.
Do you ever want to get married?: It really depends on that Special Person's opinion. I'm not opposed to it, but it's not a decision you make alone.
When did you last dance?: I Mister Blonde'd it on my way out to feed that cat.
Do you like the rain?: You fucking know it.
Are you having a good day?: It's alright insofar.
Do you have an extensive collection of music on your computer?: I have a bit.
Do you like prank phone calls?: They're pretty immature.
Ever prank phone call the police?: No.
Ever streak?: No.
Ever Skinny dip?: No.
Do you take showers, baths, or jump in the creek?: I like bathes, but I have a shower only, now.
Everyday?: Every day when I can - sometimes I can't. Always after the Gym, though.
When did you last brush your teeth?: This morning, in the shower.
What time is it now?: 11:00 AM.
When did you last kick a ball?: Stopping one for some children on my way to the Supermarket.
U MAD BRO?: LOL, NO.
When were you last sick?: Last night.
When did you last listen to music?: I've set AlterniaBound to my start-up theme.
What did you listen to?: "AlterniaBound".
Do you live life to the fullest?: No, but I most certainly live.
Type your favorite song lyric.: "You're lucky-lucky. You're so lucky."
Do you love clouds?: Overcast days are beautiful.
When did it last snow?: I've just moved here and it's yet to snow.
When did you last go to the beach?: Several years ago with my Cousins.
Have you ever kissed someone?: Yes.
How did you kiss them?: It was to make prom a bit memorable for someone.
Are you EXTREME?!: No, but Ninety-Nine Nights is.
What is your favorite pasttime?: Mailing people.
Day or Night?: Night's quieter, but there's less to do. Night, though.
Name something refreshing: When you take a deep breath after it's snowed.
What entices you?: Spanking someone into submission and then licking them into complacency.
Have you ever broken a bone?: Yes. I've cracked my sternum and I've broken my foot.
What are you afraid of?: Heights.
Do you own an Ipod?: No.
What is the NAME of your street?: Gerviston Court.
Have you ever been to Disney World / Land?: No.
What's the best advice anyone has every given you?: "Always forgive, never forget".
What is your life goal?: To strike a balance between happiness and responsibility, helping people while treating someone quite special.
Do you like life?: It's much more exciting than death, insofar.
How do you dress?: Dapper.
How do you do?!: Fine, and you?
What is your favorite color?: Orange.
Do you dress in Dark / Light colors?: Lighter colors.

This or That
Pie or cake?: Pumpkin Pie tops any cake.
Chocolate or vanilla?: Vanilla.
Black or white?: Black.
Ceiling or floor?: Floor.
Couch or bed?: Bed.
Cough or sneeze?: Sneeze.
On or off?: On.
Closed or open?: Open.
Brush or comb?: Comb.
Long or short?: Long.
Big or small?: It depends. There's a certain disarming quality to small.
Wet or dry?: ...There's a certain disarming quality to wet.
Under or over?: Over.
Top or bottom?: Top.
Fly or fall?: Fly.
Smile or frown?: Smile.
Hot or cold?: Cold.
Warm or cool?: Warm.
Rough or smooth?: Smooth.
Cat or dog?: Cat.
Snake or bird?: Bird.
Shark or T-Rex?: T-Rex.
Past or present?: Past - Noir was a pretty slick timesetting.
Science fiction or fantasy?: Fantasy.
Dull or sharp?: Sharp.
Live forever or die young?: I think you'd lose the joy of living if you outlived everyone you cared for. I'll take die young over Mokou-modo.
Books or television?: Books.
Jump or skip?: Jump.
Fast or slow?: Slow.
Run or walk?: Run.
Gaston or Cruella Deville?: No one wins my favor like Gaston.
Colors or black and white?: I like monochrome.
Cute or pretty?: Pretty.
Good or evil?: Piety-max.
Fruits or vegetables?: Vegetables.
Milk or juice?: Milk.
Hot chocolate or gingerale?: Ginger-ale.
Movies or cartoons?: Movies.
Pillow or blanket?: Blanket.
Moon or stars?: Moon.
Sky or sea?: Sea.
Explode or implode?: Implosions are always pretty dramatic. Let's go implosion.

Odd Questions

What color is the bottom of your tongue?: Dark pink.
Your foot?: Kind of a worn beige.
Do you have any medical problems concerning feet: No.
Do you chew on pencils?: I used to, when people owned pencils.
Do you read the dictionary?: Not unless I'm curious.
Do you memorize random facts?: Yes. I was even on a team for it when I was in High School.
Do you stalk anyone?: No, but I have a few I pester.
Do you collect dust?: My small assortment of knick-knacks do.
Do you use lotion on your feet?: If I'm after someone who's got a thing for feet.
Do you have problems with Canadians?: Nope.
Do you have problems Americans?: I'm afraid I can't help it.
Have you ever played a kazoo?: Yes.
Have you ever shot someone?: No, but I'm a crack-shot with a Nagant.
Something?: I have, though I'm not quite Preposterone enough for shooting ranges.
How many pairs of underwear do you own?: More than I need.
Jeans?: I own like, five good pairs.
What ring size are you?: Big.
Belt size?: Somewhere between medium and small. It's frustrating finding belts that fit.
Have you ever gotten anything amputated?: No.
Do you have a calendar?: I opt to cover my wall in post-its instead.
What do you eat a lot of?: Curry, soup, and wraps.
Do you get excited over cameras?: I get shy around cameras.
Do you have an obsession with breasts?: All you need's a handful.
Poison?: No.
Knives?: I can flick mine pretty quickly, and sometimes I carry it in my breast pocket. Illegally. I'm such a rebel.
Bald people?: Tonsures are pretty cool...
Pirates?: Oh, Captain, if only you knew how I felt.
Corny jokes?: You bet your ass I do.
Can you tie stuff with your tongue?: No, but I can rapidly flip toothpicks with it.
Do you bite yourself?: I used to bite the inside of my cheeks when I was little.
Do you get cold sores often?: Thankfully, no.
Do you have a cold right now?: No, but I have a burn in my mouth the size of Manhattan.
Do you suffer from chronic migraines?: If I oversleep.
Do you like to touch sharp objects?: No.
Are you homicidal?: All violence is washed sacred in the name of Faith.
What do you do on the computer?: Listen to music, write people, and essentially masturbate.
Is everybody else happy with your life?: You can't make everyone pleased.
Do you like 100% white grape juice?: I know a pretty slick smoothie recipe involving it.
How big is the universe?: Infinitely so, as it loops into itself.
What's the logic behind your answer?: Space, like time, is curved.
How many hours of sleep do you get every night?: Five to six, typically.
What do you dream about?: My most recent one involved shopping for clothes with someone who I promptly treated to oral sex.
Do you fall for Internet advertisements?: I've clicked a few out of curiosity. There's always asterisks and strings attached.
Do you enjoy bungee jumping?: No - I'm afraid of heights.
Do you have AIM?: No.
Do you watch bugs crawl on the floor?: If I see them, I catch them in a cup and scoot them back outside.
Are you scared of anything at all?: Heights.
Which cardinal direction do you like best?: North.
Do you have a microphone on your computer?: I have a built-in one that's awful, and a much more reliable headset given to me by Aaron.
A webcam?: No.
Does your mouse light up?: It flickers if you turn it upside down.
Are you scared of mice?: No.
Do you wish you were a fish?: No.
Do you weasel out of things?: Yeah. On occasion I skip out on things to prioritize.
Does karma, if it exists, love you?: According to Liam, I'm a karmic millionaire.
Do you sleep under or over the covers?: Over - I use a sheet so I don't have to make my bed in the morning.
Do you sleep in a bed?: Yes.
Are you a packrat?: I'm prone to clutter, but I take time to sort it all as well.
Do you know HTML or CSS?: I think I know a little HTML. Nothing useful.
Do you find yourself chewing on your nails?: Yes, it's probably my worst habit, short of popping my knuckles.
Do you shy away from social situations?: No, but sometimes they're draining.
Do you know what you're going to get for the holidays?: No, but I know what I'm giving.
Do you label other people?: Certainly - it's easier to make broad generalizations that way.
Are you proud?: Yes.
Do you like scrambled eggs?: Scrambled eggs are the worst sort of egg. Over hard. Fried. That's how you eat an egg.
Do you wash your hands frequently?: Yes.
Do you wet the bed?: No.
What age did you stop?: I'd never wet the bed - I have an iron bladder.
Do you lie a lot?: No, but I do occasionally say things prematurely as an incentive to accomplish things.
Do you forget to brush your teeth frequently?: I brush them in the morning and in the evening.
Brush your hair?: I ruffle it and slick its ends with oil.
Do you use deoderant?: Old Spice, baby.
Are you a coward?: Sometimes I avoid addressing the elephant in the room, but I wouldn't say so.
Do you have bad hair?: No. I look vaguely like Larry Butz.
Are you Greedy?: I Try To Be Generous.
Do you tell people you love them just to get want you want?: I'm not quite HUGE BITCH, BLUH BLUH enough for that sort of manipulation.
Do you have any important talents?: I can doodle. And I can stumble around in Photoshop. I'm an okay writer, too.
Are you impolite?: If I've a legitimate bone to pick with someone, it doesn't help to sugarcoat whatever I've saying to them.
Are you Sadistic?: That depends on how M the person next to me is.
Do you have buck teeth?: Nope. I have pretty good teeth. Buck teeth are sort of cute sometimes, though.
Mental illnesses?: Clinically, they say I'm prone to seasonal depression, but that's a pan-diagnosi of America. I use to have PTSD as a child, too.
Does your breath smell?: It smells like liquorice right now, because I have a tin of liquorice-mints.
Do you have a strong body odor?: No, but when I wear cologne and then work out, I get a kind of odd fragrance that I can only call "musk". It's odd.
Do you have bad teeth?: I have just the opposite.
Do you have a bull ring through your nose?: I don't have piercings.
Are you overweight?: I'm on the low end of the Healthy Weight Spectrum for my age.
Any tattoos?: No, but every now and then, I contemplate getting a Dharmachakra between my shoulder-blades.
Are you a wannabe?: Yeah. I'd like to be Larry Butz or Brad Pitt in Fight Club.
Are you a bad guesser?: I'm hit and miss - sometimes I'm downright uncanny, but that makes me overconfident.
Are you bad at reading people?: I'm usually pretty good.
Are you too nice for your own good?: Perhaps, but I'd rather be a sucker than a con.
Do you have a lot of friends?: I have a lot of acquaintances.
Do you give in easily?: I've a better handle on my needs and wants than most.
Are you stubborn?: Yes.
Are you annoying?: That depends on how angry you get when I'm busy or how much you hate puns.
Is your room messy?: My apartment's cluttered but functional.
Do you respect your body?: Yes.
Are you arrogant?: I can be, especially when someone's making ignorant quips.
Are you unique?: Statistically, there are probably a few people like me, but they're probably a minority, too.
Are your hands clammy?: No. Swollen from working out, still.
Are you short?: I'm 5'10.

Beliefs
Do you believe in God?: I've got nothing to lose by having faith in him.
Do you believe in magic?: Yes. A lot can come of stern belief and bowed heads.
True love?: I think it's something you have to make.
Are you an atheist?: No. But I was largely agnostic for awhile.
Karma?: I think people ultimately get what's coming. Sometimes you get what's coming to the guy next to you, though, so heads up.
Do you believe that each different belief creates a new reality?: Reality's flexible with the right beliefs.
Do you believe in life on other planets?: It's pretty arrogant to presume we're alone. There's a titanic cosmic void out there. Statistics say something should be there.
Do you believe that black holes are time portals?: No. They're quantum singularities.
Do you believe in Fate?: No, but I believe in Synchronicity.
That everything has a purpose?: No, but some things do.
Do you believe that everything revolves around money?: Money's a great tool and a necessity for comprehensive economy. It's not everything though.
Politics?: I would say so, but I do believe everything's essentially a pissed-off Oligarchy at the end of things.
Ghosts?: I once heard panting in an empty graveyard where I'd put a headstone for a cremated dog. I accept the possibility.
Are you clean-shaven?: I've got stubble you could strike a match off.
What are your fingers like?: Long, wide-jointed, and scarred-up.
Thin or full lips?: I've got full ones. Supposedly their one of my better features.
Thin hair, thick hair, or somewhere in between?: Thick, but it's trimmed short.
Have you ever had lice?: Yes.
How old were you?: I was about nine.
Nicknames: Clay Guida, Babushka, Blue Riding Hood, Nun. I've had a few.
Happy with them?: Yeah, I've accepted Clay Guida, even.
Aliases: Ichirin Kumoi? I don't know. None legally.
What made you choose them?: A modded stint in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.
If you were born female, what would your name be?: I'm not sure. Zoe?
If you had a choice, would you drop your last name?: I'd consider it - I don't like it because it means "Hairmaster" in Dutch.
What heritage does your first name imply?: Hebrew.
Middle name?: Chaise.
Place of birth: Shreveport.
Date of birth: 09-09-1992
Were you named after anyone?: Oddly yes - that kid from from the old Lego commercials; Zack the Legomaniac.
Did your parents immigrate?: No.
How about your grandparents?: No.
Your great grandparents?: Yes.
Where did they emmigrate from?: Holland.
Where did they immigrate to?: Canada, and later America.
Skin color: I'm pretty swarthy. I've been told I can pass for Italian or Bosnian if I wanted to.
How old are your parents?: They're in their late thirties.

Favorites
Month: I like May. It rains a lot in May.
Animal: Hyenas are pretty cool.
Movie: Probably the Iron Giant or the Three Amigos.
Book: Les Miserables, by Victor Hugo.
Body of water?: The Mediterranean.
Country: I guess I thought Iran and Ukraine were sort of cool.
City: There's a city in Bhutan called "Ha", and the province shares the name. Ha, Ha, Bhutan is pretty nifty.
State: Probably here, in New York. Arizona seems sort of cool, too.
Province: Basel.
Place to go in your neighborhood: Gold's Gym.
Pet: Napoleon. He's my favorite dick..
Movie genre: Comedy.
Book genre: Fiction.
Musical: Les Miserables.
Sport: I used to be pretty good with Soccer and Hockey.
Drink: I'm a fan of Earl Grey tea and Club Soda.
Food: Salmon.
Candy: I'm a sucker for gummies. See what I did there?
Holiday: I've Got A Sweet Tooth That Would Drive A Dentist Insane...Halloween.
Mythological creatures: Mimics, Mandragoras, Golems, and Dullahans.
Miscellaneous item: CD Players.
Storybook character: Jean Valjean was my Jesus-Figure for awhile.
Vegetable: I've got a soft spot for Celery.
Toothpaste brand: Colgate.
Medication: Diazepam.
Type of sword: Dussack.
Planet: Jupiter - it was depicted as a girl with a festering eye by my friend Lina Garcia.
Space feature: Quasars, no doubt.
Pair of socks: I have these checkered argyle ones I've just about worn-out.
Scooby-Doo character: Shaggy. Everyone loved Shaggy.
Astrological sign: Heh. Scorpio?
Chinese zodiac sign: Monkey.
Number: Eleven.
Short story: The Enchanter.
Word: I use "Ultimately" a lot.
Artist: Gustav Klimt.
Childhood memory: A time when my family-friend Mike helped me make a gingerbread Christmas Tree.
Instrument: The Piano.
Brand of candy: Haribo, I'd say.
Time of day: I don't think I've had an 11:00 PM go too bad for me, ever.
Inside joke:
Onomotapoeia: Bluh.
Are you taken or single?: That's a good question. As I see it, I'm someone's suitor.

Dislikes
Animal: Wolves and Foxes are savagely overplayed by Furries.
Number: Pi.
President: Warren G. Harding.
Food: I can't handle Spam after bad Spam Musubi made me sick.
Fruit: Grapefruits suck.
Vegetable: I think the Artichoke is pretty awful.
Candy: Malted milk-balls.
War: The Rape of Nanking really unsettled me, but I'm sure there's worse.
Brand of cereal: I'm not too fond of Captain Crunch or Grapenuts.
Scent: Burning plastic.
Sound: The Sound Of A Gunshot.
Article of clothing: Mortarboards.

Currently...
What are you feeling?: Curious as to if Emily's gotten her mail yet.
Smelling?: The liquorice cloud that is my mouth.
Seeing?: The Words Appear On This Screen.
Hearing?: Traffic, rain, and "Trollcops".
Doing?: Typing.
Who are you talking to online?: No one as of yet.
Are you cold?: My feet are a little chilly, but I'll manage.
Do you look nice?: I'm still dressed very clean-cut from a Job Interview, at this point.
Are you eating anything?: Liquorice mints.
Drinking anything?: No.
What brand of shoes are you wearing?: I've since taken my shoes off.
What are you worried about?: LAGC.
Sad about?: I'm not too sad about anything.

Can You...
Kiss your elbow?: I can come close.
Touch your nose with your tongue?: No.
Stick your fist in your mouth?: Yes.
Give away money?: It's my pass-time, kind of.
Stay up all night?: I turn back into a pumpkin at midnight.
Stay up for five nights?: No.
Finish this quiz?: I've done it before, yeah.
Swim?: Very well, if I'm underwater.
Draw well?: I can doodle - it's less pressure than being an artist.
Sing well?: I'm a mediocre singer, but I still do it.
Write well?: Yes. It was my only pre-honor college bait.
Eat a box of chocolates in an hour?: I'd feel gross, but yes.
Eat an entire package of Oreos in a half an hour?: No.
Predict the future?: I could make a few uncanny guesses.

Would you Ever...
Sacrifice everything for a friend?: How in-love with said friend am I?
Sell yourself?: No. My sexual encounters are sort of special.
Lie to a friend?: I have before. Not my finest moment.
Hug people in public?: Yes.
Blow up your house?: This apartment isn't even mine...



Why...
Is the sky blue?: Because blue light is the visible majority of unfiltered electromagnetic radiation?
Is the world round? Because accretion centered us around a magnetic core.
Is the world unfair?: A lack of incentives and a unaccommodating majority.
Impolite?: They Probably Don't Mean To be Impolite.
Why are people disrespectful?: Internet anonymity.
Conforming?: A fear of being singled-out.
Are there religions?: To explain what is unknown and preserve a sense of order.
Theories?: To guess at explanations to what we don't yet understand.
Do we need air?: Because of cellular respiration, I think.
Do we age?: Because cells have a set number of divisions, genetically.
Are you taking this?: I'm a glutton for punishment.

Word Association

Bed. Pajama
Curtains. Street.
Lights. Sky.
Music. Sax.
Candles. Cologne.
Closet. Sexuality.
Door. Dinosaur.
Window. Eye.
Onomotapoeia. Sound.
Dog. Wan.
Cat. Nyabi.
Egypt. Bust.
Mirror. Witch.
Case. Shell.
Cave. Keine.
Bird. Get
Bear. Trap
Death. Belmont.
Life. Goal.
White. Lady.
Black. Mushroom
Personality. Charisma.
Pickle. Juice.
Dilemma. Phenomenon.
Love. Sick.
Ball. Bearing.
Moderate. Ban.

Do you roleplay?: I'm pretty good at it, though I dislike the overpowering sexual-community for it. That's not to say I don't do sexual stuff, I do on rare occasion.
Can you play cards?: I can play War, Slapjack, and Bullshit, I guess.
Are you glad this quiz is almost over?: Sure.
How long have you been doing this?: On and off for a few hours.
Did you do the entire quiz all at once or take breaks now and then?: I took a lot of breaks.
What time is it, and how low did it take you to finish?: It's 4:19 PM. Six hours and twenty-two minutes, I think.